5 Totally Inconsistent Movie Characters

Hollywood typically overlooks these things people know as 'characters' when they go to make the next big blockbuster sequel, and it tends to leave them with interesting fan-boy-killing inconsistencies.

Look, it's Two-Face!

What do Keanu Reeves, Jean-Claude Van Damme, and Jackie Chan all have in common? They're all too consistent.

Just The Facts

  1. Comic book movies are horrible about keeping anything canon, especially minor details such as major enemies of the title character.
  2. Book-to-movie adaptations are fairly lax on their definitions of 'character personality' as well.
  3. You'll never expect the twist at the end!

#5: Any Batman character ever created.

If you've seen any Batman movie in the history of ever, then you've probably noticed the exact same thing that everyone else has (Not counting that Schumacher lacks any sort of creative ability): None of the characters are ever the same from movie to movie. In fact, an entire Cracked article could be dedicated to just how different every Batman character is in each of their appearances.

Oh Schumacher...everything was a Joker parody to you, wasn't it?

Harvey Dent/Two-Face:

If ever there were a more inconsistent character in the Batman universe than Harvey 'Two-Face' Dent, then I haven't seen him. In three separate movies, he has been portrayed by not only three different actors, but also with three different personalities. Now, you might say "Oh, but he's Two-Face, who knows what's going on in that head?" I respond with a question: How can any one character go from being Lando Calrissian to Agent K? And then that fucker from 'No Reservations'? From serious, run-of-the-mill district attorney to a crazed comedy failure that even the Riddler is confused by? And then the Dark Knight, with all of its innovations, presented Two-Face as Frank Miller would've: Gritty and real, with too many campy lines to be unrelatable.

You either die a hero or live to see yourself become the villain. Maybe Heath should've heard that line.

The Joker:

What can be said about the Joker? He's probably why the Batman characters are so low on the list, actually, because as non-sensical as he is, you can always tell some sort of chaos will be following him. Now, he's here simply because of the portrayals by Jack Nicholson (Who played another fine crazy Jack in a Stephen King classic) and Heath Ledger (Known for such amazing movies as 'Brokeback Mountain' and 'Cornhole Canyon').

While he was similar in both roles, Jack's take on the Joker involved killing people with laugh-inducing beauty products (Apparently the screenwriters were scarred by woman when they were growing up.) Heath's take on the Joker, which I personally found to be more realistic, was that of a simple psychopath: One screwed up mind doing things just for the hell of seeing people go crazy. I mean, how many of you would burn a mountain of money?

I suppose the writers and directors think these things are okay when you retcon your movie into oblivion and then assume all of the fans forgot the character's last appearance anyway. I could go on, but that would turn this into an article about weird Batman villain portrayals.

#4: Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker

Now, you might be asking yourself why you're seeing Darth Vader on this list. If you are asking that, then you've clearly never seen all six of the Star Wars movies.

Who's the little kid on the left? Why, it's Darth Vader! Of course!

Let's count the number of changes that 'little Ani' goes through:

1. Small child who does things like podracing and shouting out 'Now THIS is podracing!' when blowing up spacestations. Also, falls in love with a girl ten years older than he is.

2. Young adult who passive aggressively fumes about how he can't get the girl because of the force.

3. Young adult who aggressively murders so that he can get the girl. With the force.

4. Creepy three-quarter machine, one-quarter human...thing...that shouts out 'NOOOOOOO!' when he found out that he 'killed' the girl. And then aggressively murders everything in the galaxy until his long-lost son convinces him to kill the evil emperor, overthrowing everything he was following for over twenty years of his life in exchange FOR his life. Follow that? George Lucas basically created the template for campy redemption action films.

Oh, and this.

#3: Harry Potter

I know what you're thinking, "How can he possibly justify putting Harry Potter in here? The character was made to change." Well, prepare to have your mind blown. And it's not even just because he's a teenage male that actually ages throughout the course of his series.

They grow up so fast!

Over the course of roughly ten years, Harry Potter has been portrayed consistently by one actor - So far, so good. And, like his book counterpart, he has evolved over the years. Of course, in the last few years this evolution has made Mr. Potter seem more like some sort of power crazed sociopath than the magical Boy-Who-Lived. All of you book junkies out there will probably point at that, well, Harry lost his mind in the books as well. Sure he did, but it's a little easier to understand in the books, when we're actually given his point of view.

This is not to malign Daniel Radcliffe's acting abilities --

Not at all.

-- After all, we find being shown his treasure trail to be pleasantly different. But when he makes one of the best known and most beloved of all children's characters come across as a nightmare that John Wayne Gacy had, it's something that easily lands him in a list of crazy movie characters.

Like this one. Only more awesome in practice.

#2: Spider-Man

A living testament to how Sam Raimi lost his mind and how Tobey Maguire lost his career, Spider-Man perfectly exemplifies just how badly a movie can ruin a comic. Many people will say the first one was good, the second one was bearable, and the third one was meh. Anyone without those three opinions is obviously the most die-hard Spider-Man fan ever (who hasn't read the comics). How Sam managed to slip Spider-Man 3 past Stan Lee's eyes eludes my own, but it's really a substantiation of how moody that family must be that the worst scene in the history of comic book movies came about when the Raimi brothers wrote the screenplay.

Tell the truth, you'd do that to your hair too if you could.

So how much has Peter Parker changed over the years? Well, as all young males are required to remember, he began as a simple, nerdy, shy teenager (Like all superheroes in school. Right?) And then when he was bitten by a radioactive spider (read: magic), he suddenly and inexplicably became everyone's favorite neighborhood spider-based hero, inspiring many an arachnaphobic, sleepless night in youngsters all over the country! That wasn't good enough for Raimi though, no, he had to go the extra mile and paint on some abs to Tobey's flat, pasty stomach. That was cool though, and we lived with it, because Spider-Man was on the big screen! He didn't crack wise like his comic counterpart (and when he did it sounded more like rejected lines for the Joker than Two-Face's entire dialogue from Batman Forever) but we were cool with it, because it's not like he's Deadpool or anything.

But then, neither is Ryan.

No, it wasn't until Spider-Man 2 that we started to truly see that Sam Raimi was secretly crazy. I mean come on, first of all, how could you keep Mary Jane as the only love interest through all three films? No Gwen Stacy at all? But we were blissfully ignorant of Spider-Man's truly canonical life and completely ate up the bullspit that Raimi threw our way; after all, this Spider-Man was a likeable rascal like us, someone down on his luck and pining over a girl who loved the Green Goblin (read: psychopath, dead-daddy syndrome, and arachnophobia). After much blubbering and whining, and some crazy little moral-of-the-story moment when Spider-Man loses his powers and has to save people from a burning building (Or something like that, the movie lost us after Spider-Man apparently ran out of webbing mid-swing through New York Frickin' City), it brings us into the even more insane Spider-Man 3, which was. . .well, look at the epic hair-flip above and it pretty much sums up the movie.

Which brings us to -

#1: Freddy Krueger, Jason Voorhees, Michael Myers, and any other slasher film antagonist.

I'll simply open this section with this cut from Wikipedia about Freddy:

"Maggie, utilizing new dream techniques, uncovers Krueger's past-child abuse, cruelty to animals, murdering his own wife, the moment the Dream Demons offer him eternal life-"

If you've noticed something strange about that line, then congratulations! You've discovered just how gullible slasher film fans are. They literally do not care about what is happening in the movie and with the characters, as long as the teenage characters are being killed off at an alarming and gruesome rate. I mean, I really can't explain it any better than you could with five minutes of research on Wikipedia:

"Additionally, his teeth are in rather poor shape; in the first three films, they are simply filthy and brown, but from the fourth film onwards, he is missing a lot of them and in Freddy vs Jason his teeth are for some reason razor sharp. For reasons never elaborated on, his blood is occasionally a dark, oily color, or greenish in hue."

Even the creators don't know how Freddy got so fucked up. Oh, and another thing about these slasher guys? They just don't die. I mean, if that's not the biggest implicator of some gaping black-hole sized plot-hole that Hollywood decided to spackle closed with another inconsistency, I don't know what is.

"I'm baaaaaack!"

Freddy was killed in his sixth movie - He went on to star in three more movies directly after that (Sure, argue that they weren't in continuity with the first six. Go ahead. I won't fight back.)

Jason was a big cluster-fuck for the producers - He wasn't even intended to be the original villain of the series. But then stuff like this happens:

"Since Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives, filmmakers have given Jason superhuman strength, regenerative powers, and near invulnerability. He has been seen as a sympathetic character, whose motivation for killing has been cited as driven by the immoral actions of his victims."

What?

He just looks like the guy who kills the wrong and gives to the right.

Not only does Jason not die, he was actually literally brought back from the dead. Six times. But of course the studio will only recognize two of his deaths 'officially.'

"Ah, another day of retconning things into oblivion."

Jason went from being a deceased child to a full-grown man to a resurrected superhuman zombie to...whatever the hell Jason X was. Actually, let's count it:

1. Friday the 13th: Dead child.

2. Friday the 13th Part II: Retconned the last film to hell and back, Jason is a full-grown crazy person. Gets stabbed but survives.

3. Friday the 13th Part III: Jason gets an axe to the head.

4. Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter: Jason wakes up in a morgue (They didn't even try to explain how he didn't die from the axe) and then 'evidently' gets killed by his own machete.

Count so far: One technical resurrection, two supposed deaths.

5. Friday the 13th: A New Beginning: Jason supposedly cremated.

6. Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives: Oh! He wasn't cremated! Damn. And now, by use of Frankenstein-inspired logic, he is resurrected by lightning, with superpowers! Obviously! Suck that, science! Oh, and he's left for dead chained to a big rock underwater.

7. Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood: Telekinesis frees Jason from the chains (Again, a slap in the face of science), and he's left for dead at the bottom of the lake again (That obviously worked so well before).

I'd go on, but fuck if I care. He was killed and brought back about forty times after those ones already typed out. I get what slasher films are made for, who they're made for, and why they're made, but hell, people can identify better to mortal antagonists.

If it were me, I'd just stay away from that damn lake.

By the way, the joke with the #3 Fact is that there's no twist in slasher films. Or plot.