Hot Weather Vs. Cold Weather

THE EPIC BATTLE CONTINUES. Which is more dangerous, more influential, and more of a bitch to sit through? The grudge match of the century can only be found here!

...seems pretty tied up to me

Just The Facts

  1. The highest temperature on land ever recorded is 136 F, in Libya.
  2. The lowest is -128.6 F, in Antarctica (the asshole of the world).
  3. That's a difference of more than 250 F! That's like... a lot.

DUH HEAT

Insert witty pop culture reference here.

Insert witty pop culture reference here.

In the U.S, an average of 688 people die every year from heat exposure. Of course, most of these were old, sick people (so who really cares, right?). BUT WAIT! Heat-stroke related deaths have also affected high school athletes, with 18 deaths between 2005 and 2009. So not only is the heat killing our old bags of skin, but also our young, promising NFL recruits! That bitch!

All her fault.

The heat is also responsible for droughts, crop death, and a 300% increase in older men named Ted watching your kids swim in the pool from behind the fence (source needed).

Ted.

Not to mention, you get all nasty and start sticking to the couch.

BUT WHAT CAN WE DO?!?!

Drink some water and use common sense. Also, don't be old.

Brrrrrrr, it's cold in here!

I said there must be some Toros in the atmosphere!

Don't act like you don't know it.

If the heat is Satan's best friend, the cold is his estranged ex-girlfriend that actually turned out to be a guy and just wanted to get with his older sister the whole time.

Let's look at some statistics!
An average of 647 people die yearly in the U.S. due to hypothermia (due to cold exposure)
Add this to about 41,000 deaths in each flu season (peaking in the cold months), and you have... a shitload of dead people.

Cold weather also triggers hundreds of deaths per year due to choking on your Aunt Barbara's fruitcake.

The HORROR!!!

BUT WHAT CAN WE DO?!?!

Wear some clothes and use common sense. Also, hope Arnold doesn't get involved.

The Verdict:

My expert opinion? Cold is worse.

It kills more people, takes a worse toll on your body, and doesn't need to be as extreme to make your life a living hell (well, a really cold hell).

From the cold war, to cold sores, to the Discovery Channel making a living of it, the cold is worse than the heat in pretty much every way.

This ruined it for all of us.