George Clooney
George Clooney is the man who killed Batman, had sex with your girlfriend and still turns you on every time you look in those big dreamy eyes of his...so dreamy...so perfectly large....mmmm
Just The Facts
- George had the batman suit converted in order to acomodate his nipples
- His best role so far is Sparky the Dog in South Park's Big Gay Al's Big Gay Boat Ride
- He can impreganate any woman with just a look
Why George Clooney is hotter than you
George was born in Kentucky from the merging of a pageant queen's loins with the testicular juice of an anchorman. Considering his genetic make-up Clooney Jr. was pretty damn awesome looking and as such spent most of his time on movie sets swooning women, while his friends were eating dirt.
Little George working it.
He proceeded to look pretty darn awesome in ER and Ocean's Eleven and pretty much every other movie/show he was in. Then, somewhere along the way George stopped trying to act and just sat around smiling mysteriously and looking at the camera with the trademarked "Clooney vagina exploding" stare.
If any women were reading this page their vagina would explode. But who are we kidding there are no women here, only FBI agents pretending to be little girls
I bet you didn't even notice that dog up there. In fact you are still staring in his eyes aren't you? It's okay, that doesn't make you gay...who could resist? I might just lose myself in those eyes for a little while too....
Clooney is also famous for pleasuring a woman until her legs spontaneously explode.
"This way and could you send in the next lucky woman in line"
The key point to remember here is that Clooney is not an actor he is a piece of man-candy and when his face is covered, by let's say a Batman mask, chaos ensues.
Batman: Are they swooned by my stunning good looks yet?
Robin: Holly smokes, Batman I don't think it's working!
Batman: Bring in the Terminator!
However adding facial hair only improves the Clooney effect, making even an otherwise ploteless movie completely belivable.
"Let me explode these clouds, do some LSD and walk through a wall. Then we can deal with those goats."
George yelling at the perfect storm until it calms the fuck down.
Not content to be featured in the sexual fantasies of women around the globe Clooney started directing his own movies, the most recognized of which is "Good Night and Good Luck." This was a low budget movie for which Clooney couldn't even afford color. It has been nominated for six or seven Academy Awards, the Academy being too mesmerized by the image of Clooney in black and white to remember exactly what they voted on.
Clooney is also planning to run for office in his home state of Kentucky with the slogan: "I've slept with too many women, I've done too many drugs, and I've been to too many parties."
Obama getting lost in those dreamy eyes
We expect him to become president within a week or so...
Actually, the Ocean's movies and Mr. Fox were all awesome. Also, could the writer BE more gay for Clooney?
ReplyGeorge Clooney was in Spy Kids?? *Goes to IMDB* Holy SH** Batman! He was!
ReplySo I've got this friend who goes to Italy frequently, and claims that Clooney keeps a chateau there stocked with food, drinks, and hot men year round. This friend is convinced that Clooney, like Tom Cruise, is one of those guys that's so obviously gay that we can all just talk face to face about their tail-chasing exploits while wearing a knowing smirk that says "right... we all know which way he REALLY swings". I always thought this about Cruise, but it never occurred to me about the Cloons.
ReplyIt's true. In fact, we filmed "Ocean's Twelve" just so the cast and I could party day after day there.
Ocean's Eleven: The movie so nice we made it thrice!