Nuns

Nuns represent the Brides of Christ. They are good, pure hearted women who have devoted their lives to making the world a better place. Men, however, have not forgotten that they have boobies under those robes.

Just The Facts

  1. Nuns spend their days in prayer and meditation, except when Bono is in town
  2. The nuns robes are known as "habits," and their habits are generally much cleaner than your habits.
  3. Nuns are opposed to violence, unless it is during a weekly Nun Fight Club meeting.

Cracked On Nuns

Nuns are basically opposed to everything. They love righteousness, but very few actions make the cut. Basically if you've ever had fun, a nun has a problem with the way you had fun.

"So, you think 'tighty-whiteys' are funny, do ya?"

Nuns do not hate everything, though. They love Jesus, for example. Okay, that is the only example. Jesus is damn sexy, though.

Pictured: Sexy Jesus

Nuns devote their lives to Christianity. But that doesn't mean they have to have grown up in a purly Christian environment. Many nuns get their starts on low budget movies:

"Are you sure this is what nun's wear? I don't know, it just seems a little off."

Nuns with Superpowers

It has been well documented that nuns can fly. Of course these days they choose to use commercial airlines more often for some of the amenities they provide.

"Are you sure you've checked everywhere officer?"

As nuns are the brides of Christ it is possible that many nuns have a direct link to Jesus. While this power has yet to have been proven, it is proven that many men who have attempted to fuck with nuns have received the so called "Bitch Slap of Christ."

Nuns in Pop Culture

Nuns have been portrayed in hundreds of movies and television shows. Among them are: Blues Brothers, Sister Act, Sister Act 2: Back In The Habit, Sister Act 3: The View, Doubt, The Flying Nun, Nuns on the Run, and, most notably, The Nun:

Nuns make a never ending source of great material for lazy screenwriters because they know that nuns won't fight back against strange or bizarre portrayals of themselves. More often than not, though, the nun is portrayed as either a sympathetic character or as a character that is tormenting and torturing small children into following good Christian ethics. As such it isn't surprising that nuns are seen as terrifying figures to many Catholics (see above).