Geisha
The most ridiculous cock teases to ever come from Japan.
Just The Facts
- Geisha are a type of courtesan, a paid companion for a wealthy man.
- A geisha is an educated hot chick that speaks as an equal with men.
- Japanese men hire these women to entertain them at parties.
- Geisha are rarely used for sex.
Entertainers of men.
One thing we need to get across first: Geisha entertain Japanese men. In groups. At parties. You know what I mean. (I am winking as I write this.) In fact, geisha can entertain up to a dozen men for hours. They are paid thousands of dollars per hour in some cases for their (still winking) services.
The second thing we need to get across is the importance of this knowledge: Japanese culture is best illustrated by a robot that was God dropping brown acid, while watching a 24 hour marathon of the world's most horrifying pornography, throwing up onto a canvas (I think that's the plot of a famous anime, actually). Remember that geisha entertain men in this horrble robot-deity-puke paradigm (For examples of this paradigm, see 5 Lessons American TV Should Learn From Japanese Game Shows). So, this insanely expensive woman entertains these horny all-male audience by reciting poetry, singing, dancing (fully-clothed), playing traditional instruments, and uh...drinking tea perfectly.
Oh. Tea. That's cool.
If you're like me, you're wondering why anyone would spend the equivalent of twenty thousand dollars for a prostitute that you have to talk to for six hours. If I'm paying any woman that much, I expect to stick my penis in her duodenum. And I am taking off a hundred dollars per word she says in any language. But here is the allure of a geisha: they give Japanese men a woman they can talk to. Because the alternative is like, their wives or girlfriends or some bullshit like that.
Some types of geisha give you cancer.
History of Geisha
The first geisha were men, and had a job not unlike a court jester. He'd juggle and dance around, tell jokes and sing. However, someone decided that it would be awesome to dress up women like these dudes and make them dance around (fully-clothed). You can still hire a Taikomochi, or a male geisha, but we submit: Why? Except perhaps to terrify your children or to hire for a prank on your buddy.
Hey Bill. Like that GAYSHA I sent you? Fag.
That's where geisha started. Clowns. Sometimes, as you might imagine, an aristocrat would bang a geisha. This is not because geisha were meant explicitly for banging. Nobles are notorious for banging whoever the hell they want, though. As Japan modernized going into the 20th century, the geisha experienced a boom in business. Thousands of men from Japan's new middle class started emulating the old nobilitry.
Many new geisha houses openned up overnight to fit the new demand and, like most things middle class has access to, they sucked. They were prostitutes who entertained men. In groups. At parties. For like fifty bucks. (A much better deal.)
What happened when the first American soldiers tried to hire a geisha and the bitch started singing.
Wait, it gets worse. When the Japanese lost the Second World War, they were occupied by lots of American young men. And these American young men didn't know how to say prostitute in Japanese, but they sure knew how to say "geisha".
Rare color footage of a geisha in Tokyo, 1946.
One American man, raised on the stories of these magic creatures, decided to write a story about them, which got turned into the most boring goddamn movie ever. To do this, he plagerized a book written by an actual geisha. But you know, his version was in English. No one could possibly discover the cunning ruse.
Modern Geisha
Geisha have recently fallen on hard times. Many reasons have been put forward for this: changing economic conditions, easy access to actual prostitutes that don't sing at you, or the pants-shitingly frightening make-up geisha wear. (They look like scary ethnic ghosts.)
"Want some tea?"
In reality, it has more to do with the fact that Japanese married women are allowed to speak to their husbands. So a geisha's service, a conversational capacity that extends beyond her breakfast, is no longer so rare. In fact, women in Japan are educated better than most American men.
The geisha are a kind of vestigial cultural organ, hanging on for dear life as Japanese men discover that women are not classified as either baby-machines or prostitutes (they build robots for that stuff now).
You got some facts right. Sadly, you are still very incorrect. Try ... I don't know ... doing some mother f*****g research instead of watching Memoirs of a Geisha.
ReplyWhoever wrote this really needs to do more research...A geisha NEVER slept with a man that wasn't her danna. During WW2 there were plenty of geisha imposers that worked as prostitutes, forever making the real geishas prostitutes in our silly American minds.Geishas had to go to a school every day to learn to sing, and dance, and study hard. It wasn't a joke to them. They took their job very seriously, and did not mess it up by sleeping around and getting paid for it, that was not their job.
ReplyBtw back then the oiran and tayu never choose to be oiran and tayu, they were sold, caged, and forced... they were sold at a very young age to. same with geishas to though, they were sold to geisha okiyas, and then some girls would be sold to be an oiran at a whore house
Replyyou can look oiran and geisha or maiko [maiko is a trainee geisha somewhere around the teenage age] but u can look them up and notice the differences, id look up "oiran douchu" [high ranked oiran] then a geisha or maiko, you'll notice alot of differences when you learn them, they also stopped prostitution around the 1800s, it started from 1600s to the 1800s
ReplyGeishas are prostitutes, back in world war 2 that i know of... stupid low class kind of prostitutes would dress as a geisha and call herself one when infact she wasnt, also back in the edo period...There were women called OIRAN and TAYU...They were high-priced prostitutes who had tortoise shell kazashi [the stick like kanzashi] and wore there obi tied in the front becuz it was easier to take off, back then prostitution was legal so the oiran were there, but oirans were not just prostitutes, they also entertained too... oirans also have koma-geta on, a very high kind of shoe, and no socks on, not even kin the winter while the geisha and maiko would wear tabi socks.
ReplyOh by the way nameless want to say to you that every time a country has trouble the call us bad Americans to bale their fannies out. First its wars cause we have to win them for them and then rebuild their economy. That has been ever since 1914 and that my not so friend is a matter of history and the other fact is when a natural disaster hit who do the scream for help from first you got it good ole USA, so get a life!!!!!!
ReplyI joined this just to say that whoever wrote this has little knowledge of what Geisha is. One should really study that subject before they write about it. Shame on you.
ReplyI don't think geishas are prostitutes or even high class courtesans. This article probably took the book to be fact. From what I remember high class courtesans were named oiran. They appear the same as geishas, they even wear the elaborate make up and hairstyle. The only way you can distinguish is if the obi is tied in the front or the back. Actually geishas were forbidden by law to have sex with their clients. Only the oiran have the license for that.
ReplyI don't know if this is supposed to be funny.. but Memoirs of a Geisha is a beautiful movie. Which I think a SMART white man wrote the story. What do you know about GEISHA! what if he... went to japan and studied Geisha's .... PLUSS... what have you ever come up with? a way to make fun and not admire. YOU f****n dumbshit
ReplyActually, my friend helped the geisha Arthur Golden interviewed (who sued him for breach of contract and defamation of character because of the use he made of her interviews) write her own autobiography. Her name's Mineko Iwasaki... and Arthur Golden is kind of a douche.
And finally, all people in the United States should just go die already. They are no more the stupid idiots who think they own everything and can buy anything with money. Most of United States American's are hardly educated anyway, so saying japanese women are educated even more then an american man is hardly any comparison. Americans are a drian on the earth and need to leave it already because they don't spend their time on anything but acting like morons who think they know everything.
ReplyBottom Line.
American's = Fat disgusting piles of bullshit.
:)
Now if you are American I don't apologise, However, I do think you have a really good style of writing, it flows well and packs a lot of info into one small little package.
Your shameless, full-hearted belief in a ridiculous stereotype is disheartening.
Oh and about Arthur Golden. He lived with a Geisha family while he was writing his book. But the Geisha who he based most of the story off, didn't understand he originally intended it to be fiction anyway, and sued him because he depicted her incorrectly.
ReplyHe did depict A LOT of things incorrect, but for the most part the book and the movie are both very endearing and semi-educational.
What is a "geisha family"? I lived in Japan for years and I never heard of such a thing.
If you mean he stayed in an okiya, that's shocking. Where did you read that?
I'm not sure if this is a joke or not but your portrayal of a Geisha bothers me.
ReplyEverything you said about them in some respect is incorrect and you should go research them again.
They are by no means prostitutes, nor were they clowns.
Men were the first Geisha because women were not allowed to sit with business men.
When women because geisha, the owners of the brothels went into an uproar because they took away from the Brothel's profits.
So the government put many restriction on what Geisha could/could not do, how they could dress, how they could act and what they could perform.
They are not allowed to perform anything sexual, they are only allowed to imply it.
The only time a Geisha may have sex is when she transitions from Maiko (training Geish) to Geisha. But nowadays, even that is illegal.
The only other time is with a Geisha's Danna, who is her main patron. He pays for her rent, her Kimono... everything. She is his wife of the Night.
What you are implying is this; Geisha are no more then Fancy Prostitutes.
When this is no where near the truth. And I am unsure if this is for comedic purposes lol.
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