Gold

Gold is a chemical element, atomic number 79, most noted for plating NES The Legend of Zelda game cartridges.))

You can also build rooms out of it.

For those who choose to wear their jewelry outside of their bodies, there's this.

Just The Facts

  1. Gold has many unique properties chemically, and also does interesting things when you smash neutrons into it.
  2. Gold is resistant to corrosion and looks pretty, which is why it has been valuable for thousands of years.
  3. Gold is currently trading at over $1350 per ounce, so if you find any, hold on to it!

Why You Should Care About Gold

This is what gold will probably look like when you find it next to dog poop.

Gold is far too valuable in industry and medicine to be wasted on jewelry, but as long as people pay to wear it on their bodies, countless grams of pure gold that could be used to save lives around the world will instead end up as Aunt Greta's new hoop earrings. So essentially, gold is the cause of class warfare and many other global problems.

Gold is also used extensively in electronics, so if you have any old computers lying around, grab a flat head screwdriver and scrape it off. Collect the shavings in a plastic baggie and head down to your local pawn shop. It's free money, people.

Elemental gold is non-toxic, which makes it useful for dental reconstruction or for food decoration. Rich people have gold shakers the same way normal people have salt shakers, even though elemental gold has no taste or smell; in ancient days, enterprising poor people would collect the excrement of rich people to sift out the gold they ingested (probably). More commonly, gold leaf is used in such beverages as Goldschlager, most likely because making cinnamon schnapps look pretty is the only way anyone will buy it.