Full Metal Jacket

Full Metal Jacket is a popular Vietnam War film. The fan-base ranges from movie-buffs who believe the film makes a profound statement about the human condition in wartime Vietnam to adolescent males eager to quote it like a bible.

Fuck Taco Tuesday!
Fuck Taco Tuesday!
7.62 millimeter, full... metal... jism...
7.62 millimeter, full... metal... jism...

Just The Facts

  1. Full Metal Jacket is a film released in 1987 about the Vietnam War. It was directed by Stanley Kubrick, famous for his movies about diaper-wearing rapists, space orphans, and a biography about Jack Nicholson.
  2. The film can arguably be divided into two parts, each providing a powerful message and candid insight into the Vietnam War. During the first half, the audience discovers that drill instructors are impressively capable insult comics; the second half solemnly insinuates that all U.S. Marines who serve
  3. The title Full Metal Jacket is in reference to ammunition. Similar naming schemes would have led Pirates of the Carribean to be called Cannonballs or Sex and the City to be Jism.

An Extensive Plot Summary(Through Pie Chart) and a Brief Character Assesment

For most films, it is difficult to accurately detail the substance and plot structure through an elementary pie chart. For Full Metal Jacket, it is perfect.
Kid Tested, Kubrick Approved
Shitty Pie Chart Graphic was Kid Tested, Kubrick Approved
As you can see, Kubrick makes an honest effort to convey the harsh and traumatizing environment that is Basic Training. At 49%, the Basic Training scenes are often what the audience takes away from the film, though often masking overall perversion and horror of what the recruits go through with quips about 'Mary Jane Rottencrotch' and Gunnery Sergeant Hartman's tough love with Pvt. Gomer Pyle. Until he gets blasted by him that is.
I pray to God you aren't as unbalanced and psychopathic as you look, Private Pyle, because I'm about to push you over the limit and put a firearm in your chubby hands!
Here is a quick character rundown.
Private Joker(Left), Rafter Man(Center), Animal Mother(Right)
I've always wanted to meet a Baldwin
Private Joker is the central character of Full Metal Jacket. He doesn't need any introduction in the sense that he is easily forgettable and interchangeable with any of the other marines(despite his supposedly profound and sporadic voice-over driveling.) In the center, is his weird-ass sidekick Rafter Man, whose nick name remains unexplained in the film(instead, try to imagine him named Raptor Man.) On the right, is Animal Mother, whose nick name doesn't require any explanation because of its badassery.
Here is Gunnery Sergeant Hartman
I never blink.
He is the reason why most people enjoy Full Metal Jacket. He is hailed for acting in a role that had required a little less mental preparation than taking a dump in a busy airport bathroom for him. For more on that, see Not Exactly a Stretch: The Easiest Acting Roles Ever.
Pvt. Gomer Pyle
"I am... in a world... of shit... and I'm not making a bathroom joke."
He is the reason why most people say, "Oh, I love that movie. It's hilarious. Except the second part. I fell asleep because it was so boring."

A Sample of Fruit from the Full Metal Jacket's Loins. (A Few Spoilers Detailed in a Vague and Illogical Fashion.)

Three-foot nine? I didn't know they stacked shit that high.

Sure, Full Metal Jacket has given Football Coaches enough material to berate a player through the entire season without reusing a single insult but what else has it given the American public?

1. The perception that most women from eastern Asia can be paid for sexual services as long as they speak broken english.

Yeah, but your somebody's daughter

2. Knowledge that killing women and children is easy. You just don't lead them as much.

Jesus Christ, I don't know what is worse; your inane logic or the fact that I want to yell 'Get some! Get some!' in the headset next time I play Call of Duty.

4. Knowledge that killing women and children isn't that easy, especially when they are armed and in a fortification.

"Me so horny, Motherfucka!" BANG! "Me love you long time!" BANG! BANG!

This little lass kills off some serious G. I. before getting capped by Rafterman and euthanized by Pvt. Joker.

There, we killed that bitch, now we are singing the Mickey Mouse song. Does this movie mean anything to anyone yet?

The Most Valuable Lesson from Full Metal Jacket

Despite formulating and perpetuating numerous myths and stereotypes about the Vietnam War, Full Metal Jacket does a lot of things right. It has been called one of the greatest anti-war movies of all time, and does shine a surprisingly honest light on one of the darkest conflicts the United States found itself in, a well as illuminating the nearly unbearable trials of the soldier.

However, there is one principle that rises in importance high above the rest: blanket parties are not as cozy or as sexy as they may sound.