Wu-Tang Clan

Cracked has recently intercepted a memo from a high-paid consulting firm to rap supergroup The Wu-Tang Clan

actual header image coming soon

Wu-Tang Clan had an abysmal 5% attendance rate for this photoshoot.

Just The Facts

  1. Wu-Tang Clan is a Staten Island, NY-based rap group, considered by many to be the greatest rap group the East Coast has ever seen.
  2. The original official members were The RZA, The GZA, Ol' Dirty Bastard, Inspectah Deck, U-God, Ghostface Killah, Method Man, Raekwon the Chef, and Masta Killa. There are too many unofficial members to keep track of.
  3. If you want beef, then bring da ruckus. Wu-Tang Clan ain't nuthin ta fuck wit.

Members of Wu-Tang You Should Care About Even If You Don't Like Hip-Hop

Despite everything we've said, Wu-Tang Clan really is one of the best Hip-Hop acts out there. But some of its members have achievements that are worth noting even if you don't like Hip-Hop.

The RZA

RZA, born in 1969 as Robert Diggs is Wu-Tang Clan's producer and unofficial leader. You should be clued into his ingenuity as a producer by the fact that he combined an obscure 70's funk song with the theme song from fucking Underdog, and created a staple of hardcore rap out of them:

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RZA has gone on to compose film scores for several movies, including Quentin Tarantino's Kill Bill, and has recently had a book published

Method Man

Method Man, born in 1971 as Clifford Smith, has accumulated several acting credits for himself, including a recurring role in HBO's The Wire. Also, he was an unlockable character in NBA Jam for the Super Nintendo. Anyone remember that game?

"He's On Fire!" No but seriously he looks like he might actually be on fire. Someone call 911.

Ol' Dirty Bastard

Ol' Dirty Bastard was born in 1968 as Russell Tyrone Jones, and died in 2004 of a drug overdose. Respect.

He is known primarily for being out of his fucking mind, as his multiple assault, robbery, and weapons charges can attest to.

He is also known for being one of the most prolific rhymesmiths of all time. This is made even more impressive when you realize that Ol' Dirty Bastard does not understand how rhyming works. Here are a couple choice ODB lyrics:

"I got no trouble with you fucking me, but I got a little problem with you not fucking me."

"Hippa to the hoppa and you just don't stoppa, I control Michael Jackson's 'Thriller,' no matter what"

"You white motherfuckers can never, y'all can't EVER take over! You shut the fuck up, and you shut the fuck up. That's what the fuck you do."

Then again, the fact that he died of a drug overdose may be an important clue.