Brett Michaels

Bret Michaels is a talentless piece of asscrumb.

As I said..f#ckng asscrumb.

Just The Facts

  1. He's a washed up shitnugget.
  2. He bangs disgusting STD ridden strippers/whores and has daughters of his own
  3. He is just a complete and undeniable TOOL.

Bald Michaels: Douche of World

So I'm watching this sorry piece of shit show called Douche Michaels Rock of Douche Bus...some of you may have seen it. Let me first start off by saying that Bret Michaels is a fucking scumsack. This guy has two daughters of his own, and he does this show which completely objectifies women and portrays them all to be worthless skanks....WAIT.. Now the ones that are on the show are literally ALL worthless skanks, but that's besides the point. This dude has two girls and still lives this lifestyle where he bangs filthy strippers and porn sluts all the time. NOW... that's pretty cool to do in your early 20's ..(maybe late 20's once and a but when your a washed up fuck stain like Brett CHOAD Michaels with two young daughters!! have no fucking business doin' that shit! It's fucking disgraceful!!

So all these stupid ass skanky, money grubbing, worthless little sluts are all competing in this retarded fucking competition to win his "LOVE". which is really fucking dumb in itself. So this show is like three weeks long and these nasty bitches are actually thinking this douche is gonna be in LOVE with them!! YOU GOTTA SEE THESE CHICKS..THEY WEAR SHIT TONS OF MAKE-UP, FAKE TITS, TINY SKIRTS AND SKIMPY SHIT AND ACTUALLY THINK THIS GUY IS GONNA RESPECT THEM!! WHAT THE SHIT!!? HOW FUCKING DUMB CAN YOU BE...SERIOUSLY?! What kind of mystical, extremely DELUSIONAL drugs are you eating?! It's a fucking embarrassment and seriously funny at the same time that girls will go on national television, act like complete re-fuck-tards and think they look hot! LOL WHAT THE FUUUUCK dude! This guy literally bangs slutty chicks all the time...he's had like 3 shows now claiming to still be "LOOKING FOR LOVE"..and every show he has there are the same nasty skanked out tramplets!! l mean seriously girls that audition for this show...are you really that fucking dumb? YES, YES YOU ARE.

This dude....has NO shame. I mean he wears make up more than the woman do, and NO ASSLICKERS IT'S NOT JUST FOR THE CAMERA EITHER...he fucking wears make up because ...well just because..he fucking likes make up I guess. The dude sits there and tries to talk all passionately to these hooch snooches, like he actually likes and respects them and it's so fucking weak and faggily put together that it's amazing the chicks aren't like..."dude, are fucking kidding me?..get the fuck outta here, I'm kicking my own ass off this gay ass show." BUUUT, they don't because they are equally stupid and stink of FALSE. Watching this dumbdick have to eliminate the girls at the end of every show is fucking unwatchable....It's so fake that it's almost like watching a live action comic book. I seriously wouldn't be suprised if Bret "FUCKFAG" Michaels pulled off his gay cowboy hat and flew off the set Inspector Gadget style with his head helicopter gizmo. I wonder if these chicks watch the show now that it's done and think "wow, I am a huge talentless asssteak." BUT, I know that they don't think that because they are all too fucking stupid. One of them is a clepto ex-pornstar who just wanted to be seriously. Then she gets on the pole at the strip club and gets wicked naked in front of hundreds of onlookers. So classy.

The think that really chaps my balls is the fact that the dude is supposed to be a father. What a scummy douche eating butt slut. It's even worse that he's the father of two DAUGHTERS. Not two boys, but two girls that will probably grow up thinking there's nothing wrong with being a little scamp. I AM GIVING MY PERSONAL GUARANTEE THAT THEY WILL NOT GROW UP TO BE DOCTORS OR ASTRONAUTS. IF THAT HAPPENS I WILL EAT MY WORDS. ...but it won't, so I'm cool. Why did they give this tool a show? I think it's just so I can post these bulletins. Seriously that IS the only reason they would give this fucking leotard a show. I wanna punch him right in his cock of love. He's a waste of air time man...seriously Brett, stop breathing. Important people need the air more than you do. That also goes for the girls that go on the I mean they have no business sharing the air of the decent people of the world. Fucking zebra pants.

Anyway, besides the fact that these chicks definately should've been swallowed, I don't even know what to say. Here's how it should go down though..

1. All the fake boobs on the show need to be removed via a brick.

2. All the women need to be put on an island with no mirrors, no make up, and fried foods and chocolate only. This island will also be loaded with super horny apes.

3. Brett Michaels will have his junk kicked in by every parent of every stripper he's ever banged. OUCH.

4. All his money will be taken away, along with any music making equipment he owns and he'll be sent Burnscrotum, ID to live for the remainder of his days.

5. All the 6 townspeople in Burntscrotum, ID will all be big hairy, stinky, gay men that get to use the Brettster for personal enjoyment at any time any day.

6. Every episode of anything he's ever appeared on will be destroyed and never able to be remade.

7. The state of Texas will save their poop and have it air dropped over the island where the girls live on a weekly basis.

8. I personally get to smack his bodyguard in the face (free of repercussions) for protecting that colon clown all these years.

9. Giant speakers will constantly loop the MMM MMM MMM song at full blast on the skanktrot island 23 hours and 59 minutes of every day..forever.

10. All the members of Poison will each give me a million for ridding the world of there shart drinking frontman, in turn making everyone everywhere.. SMARTER.

Well I hope that you will all repost this on your pages in hopes that it will, in fact, make it to all the contestants on the show and to Brett himself. ENJOY peeps... talk to ya next time I get annoyed!