Monday

Lundi, Lunes, Monday whatever you wish to call it, is the probably the most disliked day off the week.It is the first day of the long ass week, and the start of you wishing it was Friday. &&(navigator

Just The Facts

  1. Monday is the start of the work week, and the end of a fun weekend
  2. Based on some higher level math, and a little research I have determine that in 2010, there will be 52 Mondays .
  3. Every Monday morning, millions of people are on the edge ending their own lives.
  4. God avoids this slaughtering, by giving our generation a gift MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL.
  5. Cyber Monday is the first Monday after Black Friday where internet retailers drop their prices. It will be the day that Skynet becomes self aware.
  6. It really sucks.

The Reality

"Oh my fucking God, it can't be Monday already" is what you say to yourself at 6 am as you hit the alarm clock. Monday morning is as joyful as the death of the family dog. Unless you are some type of celebrity or millionaire, it is back to the same bullshit, the same people, the same annoyances that we embrace and enjoy as life. Theres a correlation between how bad your Monday goes, and your job-if you have one. It is as if we are a bunch of droids programmed to turn on Monday, and reversed engineered to let loose on Friday.


There are some who are immune to this plague, but these people do not care what day it is, probably don't even know. Homeless people, addicts, Chuck Norris, Satan.

ESCAPE ?

No matter what, there's only a couple of way's to escape a Monday. And the number answer, is DEATH. Or a coma, death's little clone with commitment issues.Monday is Death. My sources from hell, yes I have contacts in hell, tells me that it is always Monday in Hell. It's Satan's favorite day, and the only Holiday. Heaven is the other 6 days of the week. There is no way to escape Monday. You can either embrace Monday or curse it. However, it will always win.

What is so bad about Monday, its just like any other day right. No, Monday is bad for a couple of reasons that my years of research have uncovered

  1. It lies right after Sunday, a day of relaxing
  2. It's the day that most big Projects, or Deadlines choose to fall on
  3. Its 5 days away from Friday
  4. ITS 5 DAYS AWAY FROM FRIDAY


If you are alive than you have lived than a hundreds of hellish, drawn out Mondays in your tiny, worthless life. If you survive to make it to Tuesday, you one day close to the gem that is FRIDAY.

Historical Things that Happen on Mondays

1. The death of Jesus*(Unless you can prove to me otherwise)

2. The cancelation of Arrested Development *(See number one for accuracy)

3. Black Monday-stocks fell like crazy

4. Cancer was invented

5. The cure for cancer was lost( for ever)

6. The Darkside was created

Those with any intelligence will find my research more than a little inaccurate.