Modern Warfare 2 Multiplayer

Modern Warfare 2 is akin to a sumptuous cake that gives you that mix of in your face creamy goodness with a smattering of soul-shattering depravity that leaves you with a sense of satisfaction only felt whilst urinating in your local pool.

Oh yea thats the spot...

If the multiplayer of Modern Warfare was a woman it would be Xena. Totally...

Just The Facts

  1. With the Stimulus Package map pack and the new Resurgence Pack this game is a veritable cash cow for Infinity Ward.
  2. This game boasts more shame and scandle than a Michael Jackson family reunion; and with hundreds of glitches, mods and, 'hacks' this game still rocks.
  3. After several interventions and a Modern Warfare rehab facility I still can't stop myself. To put it lightly: You well never know addiction like this.

The Awe Inspiring Grandeur

Once upon a time, before the dawn of man. Before the dawn of god. Before the dawn of anything that can be labeled 'awesome,' 'balls-out,' or 'semen inducing' there was the ALPHA... CHUCK MOTHERFUCKIN NORRIS [size=7]Esquire[/size].

In a moment of awe-inspiring masculinity that to this day makes Mr. Universe contestants weep like over-weight teenage girls Mr. Norris took out his penis and thrust it into the fabric of space-time with such force as to effectively tear a hole in our dimension, allowing the multiplayer aspect Modern Warfare 2 to spill into our plane of existence.

Imagine this; you are sitting on your couch completely naked save your 'relaxin shorts.' The television in front of you displays massive explosions and a street riddled with corpses. You look from side to side and see the figures of enemy troops closing in on you. Where a lesser man would think himself royally fucked you lie down in a corner to have a smoke. Assessing your situation you come to a profound realization. You got this shit!

You quickly hop up, totally exposing yourself to enemy fire, and proceed to give the nearest enemy their first ever explosive enema by forcefully shoving a grenade right up their ass. At this point you realize rushing headlong into a throng of enemies probably isn't the best course of action. You need some assistance. So you radio in a UAV to survey your surroundings. Your immediate area lights up in red so many red dots you mistake your screen for a acne riddled teenager.

Looks like your fucked.

Maybe it's time to call in the big guns...

Oh hell yes it is!

Is that...? No it can't be. Oh, but it is... An AC130 bitch! You have just commandeered its weaponry. Time to rain some hell down into these vodka lovin, commie bastards. The vengeance you bestow upon them can only be described as biblical...seriously, Lucifer would be proud. As the immediate area is riddled with the bits and pieces of the enemy you stroke your massive rage boner laughing as their mothers, sisters and daughters look on in complete and utter horror. You continue to turn theirs sons and fathers into so many commie giblets that the earth cracks in two and a giant demonic hand reaches up from the deepest circles of hell and proceeds to give you a high five.

What happens next can only be described as a gift so beautiful that whatever silly deity you pray to wouldn't even be able to carry on its weak puny deity cock. A gift so wondrous that it could only come from the ALPHA know it, you love it, and you can't believe you got one...


You laugh maniacally like a catholic school girl on crack as the shockwave vaporizes your enemies, your team and even yourself. That was cool as hell. Time to go change the 'realaxin shorts' and rub one out to the almighty ALPHA in thanks.