How To Draw ...

The first installment of My How To Draw Series. But firs to get your unwavering attention. I must start my tutorial with nude drawings of women. So good luck with your being a noob artist. Also being an artist kind of makes women drawn to you..

Rose On Titanic: Jack is Somewhere in the background Jacking.. I mean drawing.

Mr. Bean: One of the famous nude artists.

Holy f*&^% Cow.. How did that Drawing end up in here...

Just The Facts

  1. Drawing nude women is fun.
  2. Nude women's Drawings and Paintings or Pictures sells far more that abstract paintings.
  3. You can't date a girl and You probably can't draw, since you are reading this at cracked.
  4. You came to this page to see boobies. right?
  5. You're expecting me to post pictures of boobies, right?
  6. You're probably excited to see boobies now, right?

How to draw nude women Part 1.


1. A woman who will strip naked in front of you willingly.

1. Quiet room with romantic aura.

2. A pencil (Optional).

3. Drawing Board (Optional).

4. Canvass (Optional).

5. Tissue Paper (Optional).

I said this is Optional.


A. Getting the woman naked.

1. This is probably the hardest part. Gathering the first ingredient. Find a woman willing to strip naked for you.

This may cost you a lot of money. But if you have money, why are you reading on cracked? You could be out in the bahamas with lots of women on hand.

2. Get the woman naked. Do not use brute force or any other force.

3. Sweet talk the women into getting naked.

4. Damned take the clothes off her already. we don't have all day.

B. Getting the right pose.

1. When the woman is already naked. Getting the right pose is not a problem anymore.

2. The woman can pose any way she wants as long as shes a lady.

3. Try not to get slapped while trying to arranged her pose by manually handling her.

C. Drawing the picture.

1. Get your hands off your crotch.

2. Wipe your sweaty hands and brows. (Get your hands off your crotch, optional)

3. Hold the pencil firmly. Stop your hands from voluntarily shaking. (Get your hands off your crotch, optional)

4. Try to draw (Optional).

5. Take your time as much as you can drawing the woman. You are in no hurry. This may be the first and last time you are going to see a naked woman in your lifetime.

6. Get an attorney. You'll probably get sued for fraud and sexual harassment or get the hell out after the woman realized what your intention are.

7. You may not have drawn the nude woman but at least you have made an abstract painting of your seed on the canvass..