Hollywood Guide To Gunshot Wounds For Main Characters

You ever notice how the severity of bullet wounds seem to vary drastically depending on how many lines a character has? You have? Oh...well shit. Here's this anyway:

Just The Facts

  1. Main characters are bullet-proof, because it's a really god damn short movie otherwise.
  2. Everybody else, on the other hand, can and will die from a gunshot wound that so much as grazes their psychic aura.

Hollywood's Relativistic Injury Scale

To a henchman, flunky, underling or miscellaneous themed gang member, any and every bullet might as well be an atom bomb as far as their chances of survival are concerned. To the main character, his partner, his love interest and the comic relief, however, bullets are, at best, a minor annoyance; at worst, an excuse to give a twenty minute long speech about their retirement plans before waking up in a hospital bed to the relief of all the named cast members.

Special thanks to Slim_Bankshot