Fangirls/fanboys

Fangirls and Fanboys, not to be confused with normal fans, are unusually obssessed fans of a certain object, usually one which sucks ass.

Older fangirls, who do not realize that they are acting like the female equivalent of the creeps on TO CATCH A PREDATOR

Seriously, run girls.

A fangirl in her natural habitat.

Just The Facts

  1. Fangirls and Fanboys are hilarious people.
  2. They usually do not think they are being funny, and tthey usually take themselves ultra seriously.
  3. They can range from being hilarious, to annoying, to downright dangerous.

Overview

Fangirls and Fanboys are a curious type of people, usually devoting all of their spare time to the worship of a certain aspect of pop culture, such as Anime, Twilight, Justin Beiber, etc. There are many differences between these fanboys/fangirls and the normal fans of these subjects. One prominent difference is that normal fans usually have more broad tastes, and do not devote their waking houres to one thing. Another is the way that the different kinds of people react when their object of fandom is challenged. Normal fans can see the flaws in what they like, and argue reasonably, bringing up valid points while holding their composure. Fanboys/Fangirls, on the other hand, fly into rages and usually either try to physically harm you (when in person), yell at you (both in person and online), or hurl insults at you (ex: OmGZ!!1!!11!!! U r So STOoPiD nD UgGoZ!! [translation: you are stupid and ugly]). Here, we shall look through 5 of the most common fangirls/fanboys (from now on, lets just call them fantards), and how to deal with them:

Otaku

"Otaku" is roughly the Japanese word for an anime fantard. Otaku are notorious for the art of cosplaying, or dressing up as their favorite anime characters. The most prominent kinds of fantards, at least that I have noticed, seem to be Pokefans (because of its addiction properties), Sailor Moon fans (becuase the characters may or may not be secret hookers), and Narutards (for......... something). Now, these fans are usually actually nice, and they usually are at least somewhat aware of their hilarity. However, if you attack their anime of choice (they usually have on anime that they put above all others as the anime bible, so to speak), they will get mad at you. However, out of the fantards that we are to cover, in my experience, Otaku have usually been the coolest fantards to be with.

Potterheads

"Potterheads", in case you could not figure it out, are the fantards that follow Harry Potter. These are usually either children with very bad complexions, or very creepy adults. While not as active as the otaku, Potterheads also dress up as their favorite characters, and try to cast spells on each other (I would like to think that they are trying to magic people into sex, but you never know). These people are usually pretty docile, preferring to live in their own little world fo hogwarts, magic, and potions, but they can give out a pretty funny rant when the time is right and their book is insulted. Since the books are actually pretty good, or at least not laughably bad, they can usually be dealt with easily, but unless you watna 3 hour monologue about Hermione's tits and that stuff, you better do your best to skirt around the issue of Harry Potter.

Megan Fox fans

These are usually guys and lesbians, since, lets face it, nobody is really obssessed with her acting ability. They are usually the most inconsistent fanboys, and they have probably been Alba fans, Jolie fans, Beyonce fans, etc. Most of them know that she is not that great of an actress, but they act like she is beauty incarnate. They usually have plenty of posters and pics of her on their bedroom walls, computers, bathroom walls, etc., so if you are visitng one, you should be pretty sure that you will se her a lot as well. If you think that she is ugly, you will be immediately considered "homo" by these fan, and they will usually insult your sexuality, sex life, and, if you are a girl, sex appeal, but mostly, their attacks stick to the verbal attacks, so if you have a sharp mind, you will be fine.

Twihards

These are usually girls and gay guys who worship the work of the lovecraftian demon Stephanie Meyers. They are usually divided into two groups: Team Edward, and Team Jacob. The two kinds usually do not want to have anything to do with the other group, which is not cultish behavior at all. Usually, twilight creeps into their everyday life, and they can have twilight products ranging from the standard posters and tee shirts, to things like underwear and even dildos. I am not joking, seriously, look it up. Because of this, conversation about twilight is inevitable. If you do not like the books, which is understandable, then whatver you do, DO NOT MENTION IT. Unlike the fans listed before, twilight fans are capable of getting physical, but they usually just verbally attack you are, if you are ion a relationship with one, dump you because you are not like "Edwrad Cullen". Either way, just try to use logic if you are in that situation, and maybe they will see your point.

Justin Beiber fantards

These are the most recent kind fo fan to appear, but they have to potential to becom the msot dangerous as well. In the little kids short career, they have trampled over the kids own mother, sent death threats (one to Kim Kardashian, and one to this guy who was deveoping software to censor beiber on the internet), and have probably deafened more people than any ambulance. These may look like normal 12 year old girls, but with acts like the ones I mentioned above being done in the first year of his career, imagine what will happen if, God Forbid, he has a career as long as the career of the Rolling Stones. Just do whatever you can to stay away from these fans, and if you are related to one, then you have the family card to use against them.