Greasers. Teenage throwbacks that have decided that the 50's are the time they'd rather be in.
My name is Quentin, and I'm an insomniac. So as i sit here watching random porn one of my friends downloaded on my computer during some random drunken night long ago, I can't help but think that if I was in the throes of passion, and the woman said "I'm just gonna play with my clit as i watch your throbbing cock slide in and out of me" I'd laugh so hard it'd throw the bitch in the floor. Assuming we weren't already there. But there's been another subject on my mind as of late, something much more sinister and ridiculous than porn dialogue: Greasers. Teenage throwbacks that have decided that the 50's are the time they'd rather be in. I had a run in with these bastards a week or so back. I caught one making fun of my taste in music (which at that moment was Atari Teenage Riot, which is better than any rockabilly bullshit anyone can come up with). Being as tired as I was from work, the only reply I could readily throw at the ballhair was "get back to your shitbox car you John Travolta lovin' fairy". Personally I thought it was hilarious, and it seemed to work, he got back into his car and drove off with a simple glare at me from the window of his 80's model escort. This brought me to a realization. The greaser movement was brought about by two things: 1) the movie "Grease", and 2) the Stray Cats. Through much research I've learned that these two things are connected into a sinister plot for the overthrow of society as a whole. Let's think about it. The movie Grease starred John Travolta, whose cock is the object of desire for all modern day greasers. John Travolta is a member of the Church of Scientology. Who founded said church? L. Ron Hubbard. Now during my studies into this, I came upon a startling bit of information. L. Ron Hubbard was the frontman of The Stray Cats until "rock this town" made them a slightly more famous and recognized (but still just as shitty) band, at which point Brian Setzer edged him out of the band. Fact: L. Ron Hubbard founded the Church of Scientology shortly after this. Fact: under the guise of Bronte Woodward, Hubbard wrote the screenplay for "Grease" and cast a young Travolta, in the hopes that between the shitty songs and Travolta's tubesock stuffed package, audiences would be reduced to sniveling cretins, with minds like Jell-o, ready to mold into whatever shape he chose. By doing this, Hubbard has planted the seeds to build an army of enormous magnitude for one purpose, and one purpose alone: the downfall of Brian Setzer. Unfortunately for Hubbard, people with any form of taste and/or common sense realized how shitty rockabilly was. Realizing this, Hubbard began secretly funding Setzer's comeback, for the purpose of building him up to watch him fall. Don't buy into this madness! Don't further this madman's purpose! I say to ye "Just say no To rockabilly"!