Sarah Jessica Parker: Transvestite Donkey Witch?

In a recent episode of South Park SJP was described as a 'transvestite donkey witch'. Having recently seen (or do I mean saw?) the poster for her new movie at my local cinema I think they were right

The movie poster I seen (saw?) at my local cinema

Good likeness, right?

Transvestite

What do we usually associate with a man... a good strong jaw!! Just get a load of that jaw, so masculine and the way it just juts out like that. Popeye himself would have been proud. Now there's a jaw that could stand up to a few rounds with King Clobasauaras himself, and that fucker had a mean right hook!! So with a chin like that we can safely assume that before SJP was SJP she was a bare knuckle boxer called John Joe Nevin, a tinker from the depths of Ireland. Her is an image of her fighting I found, she's in the vest

Nice Wife Beater Sarah Jessica Parker, I mean John Joe

And let's not forget that a jaw that juts like that, and she always keeps her head down, will cover up any adams apple no matter how big or small

So, transvestite: Yes

Donkey....

What is the one thing that defines most donkey's? What do most people assume you would find on a donkey? That's right kids, the big nose!! And just look at SJP's, that thing is flippin' huge. Now of course there is always reasons why people have big noses, mostly men, but some women do have big noses. Barbara Streisand is Jewish, Italian women have big noses and from what I know SJP is neither Jewish nor Italian. So why the big nose you ask? Well I'm getting to that.....her donkey heritage!! Sarah Jessica Parker is in faact a donkey

Let go of the childs carrot Sarah Jessica Parker!!

Donkey: Yes

Witch....

One thing we usually associate with witch's.... yes green skin but most witch's can easily hide that. No in this case it is warts. And get a load of this huge ass wart

That thing has put many's an eye out

And lets not forget the fame of a show like 'Sex &The City'. For goodness sake it's a porno with less of the sex and all the crappy talking afterwards, how is that interesting? Nobody enjoys the after sex talking!!

However these facts, unlike my earlier ones, are inconclusive. People are idiots and will watch anything that has this symbol '&' instead of actually having to read the word 'and'. So we cannot conclusively prove that she is a witch

Witch: Maybe....

The Truth

Well two out of three ain't bad so good work creators of South Park