Bram Stoker's Dracula


Read it and weap. No really, you'll cry.

Just The Facts

  1. Bram Stoker wrote Dracula in 1897 (he also had the manliest name in history).
  2. It was a first person account consisting of letters, telegraphs, newspaper clippings, and a death grip on verbosity.
  3. Dracula was not constantly described as "chagrined".

A Vampire That Didn't Suck...

Dracula's literary stature could be summarized with this one fact: It has inspired hundreds of motion pictures, which have liberally utilized characters from its canonology. This is without mentioning the countless other works that have been inspired by it, without resorting to name-dropping Van Helsing or Dracula himself.

Unfortunately, none of these honors can possibly express just how important this particular novel is. To merely mention those who it has inspired is as much an understatement as labeling Da Vinci just an artist, Plato just an author, Pamela Anderson just a worthless slut-bag, and Cracked just a dick joke site.

Stoking The Fire

Stoker extensively studied vampires upwards of 10 years before so much as beginning his novel. This resulted in a rich knowledge of their strengths, weaknesses, origins and receding hairlines. Stoker then used his rich depth in English and his affinity for character development to compose what would become the archetype for all following vampiric fictions. Stephanie Meyer, on the other hand, woke up from a wet dream and wrote a novel that reads like someone wiping down their keyboard with a cat during an earthquake. Which is why her books haven't sold nearly as much as... Oh wait.