Kelis

Kelis Rogers (previously Jones from marriage to rapper Nas) is a grammy winning singer/songwriter, who is most notably remebered for milkshakes that can bring the boys to the yard. mmmm, milkshakes.

What a horrible waste of ice cream...(weep)

yummy.

Id let her wander in my land. My MAN LAND!

Just The Facts

  1. Was born August 21, 1980 in Harlem, New York.
  2. Released her first album, Kaleidoscope in 1998, selling over 10,000 copies its first 2 weeks.
  3. Divorced rapper Nas in 2009, and is currently ganking him for shit loads of cash! hot damn!

The Deal-e-o

Ahhh Kelis. This sultry songstress has long been the big book of sexy womens. Her music is as sexually provacative and full of surprises as she at times can be. Her debut album Kaleidescope reached the top 50 in the heatseekers charts and was produced by The Neptunes. It has sold over 250,000 copies to this date according to Neilson SoundScan. Its most notable single, "Caught out there" was an immediate hit on MTV and BET.

Kelis second album, Wanderland, relased two years later, and to sum things up, it flopped. Horribly. Her third and fourth albums did pretty well, but we still love to poke fun at her failures. HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Would you buy this?

Would you pay money for this?

Today Kelis is raking in over 50,000 a month in child support ( Damn Nas, shoulda strapped up man), working on her newest album Flesh Tone, designing a fashion line called "Cake", and is also planning to release a cook book. How recipes for milkshakes could there be?! You'd be surprised.

The Deal-e-o, Real World extended remix!!!

Now for the off the record, real world look at who Kelis is. Because we all know we don't give a damn about anyone else's "success" and "accomplishments". Fuck that, on with the dirt!! She was arrested in 2007 for screaming charging towards two undercover officers posing as prostitutes. She was arrested in 2008 for resisting arrest and disorderly conduct. What a stand up gal! because everyone knows, your not a successful artist until your screaming like a crazy person and losing your shit every other day. Also, when the whole divorce situation came about, it just reminded all the rappers in the music industry why "we dont love them hoes".

You cant always win, Jack.