Don Cherry

Don "Grapes" Cherry is what happens when you mix a polar bear with your grandmother's sofa.

Cherry is manlier than you even when he's wearing a pink suit and holding a membership to Fabricland.

Just The Facts

  1. Don Cherry is 50% of Coach's Corner and a Canadian fashion icon.
  2. Don Cherry was voted one of the Top Ten Greatest Canadians in 2004 despite (or perhaps because of) his suits.
  3. Canadians legalized marijuana. Draw your own conclusions.

History

Don played minor league hockey in Canada and even managed to work his way into one NHL game with the Boston Bruins. He dabbled in coaching and was mildly successful but was fired after making a mistake that cost his team the season. After taking some time off to perfect his grimace, he stepped into what appears to be his true calling: broadcasting.

How do you make fun of a man wearing an Orca hat? Spoiler alert: You can't.

Don was hired by the CBC presumably after roaring his way through an interview and causing pants all over the country to become soiled. He proved himself to be a bit of a loose cannon on air; openly choosing sides while commentating and bashing the french, women, and those "no fighting in hockey!" pussies. Instead of firing him, they decided to give him his own damned show and implement a 7 second delay.

Unfortunately for the CBC, not even a 7 second delay could stop this ursine fellow from going off on offensive tangents - which leads us to...

Controversies

Don Cherry is best known for saying things that shouldn't be said on a government-funded TV station.

Normally when a woman is hit in the face with a flying puck, people call it a shame and whine about safety precautions and threaten to sue. Luckily for us Grapes is not a normal person. Instead, he says what everyone was thinking and yells about how she should have been watching the puck instead of yakking. When his cohost Ron tries to PC it up a bit, Don calls him a wimp. Awesome.

Women aren't the only people getting on-air life lessons though. In what is probably one of the most famous quotes of all time (at least, it should be) Don gives us this gem, on the subject of wearing visors:
"Most of the guys that wear them are Europeans and French guys"



I know who I'd rather be!

Now, we here at Cracked know that people have pretty much exhausted making fun of women and the French, and apparently Grapes knew it too, because he decided to step it up a notch. He blatantly criticized the Canadian government for not supporting the Americans in the Iraq war...on a government owned station, remember? Did I mention he still works there, 6 years later?

CBC: no match for the Don.