Carrot Top

Carrot Top, AKA Scott Thompson, is an American stand up comedian, but is better known for being extremely creepy.

It is evident that he was the weird kid who was always picked last.. Sucks for the blue team..

Carrot Top in his true form.

Just The Facts

  1. Carrot Top used to be a fairly normal stand up comic up until recent years, when he distorted his already freaky face to obtain an even weirder, and slightly feminine look.
  2. First Carrot looked human, albeit an unattractive human, but now has taken an alien form.
  3. Lately, his ever changing physique is getting progressively worse.
  4. He is a ginger, so ergo he is evil and has no soul.

Steroid Use

Since the beginning of his career, Carrot Top has been rather weak and skinny. He obviously was craving a change because he, like most people of his demeanor and stature, was sick of being an ugly weakling. His decision was made when he thought to himself, "hmm, how can I become super muscular and hawt?" It seems that he found solace in a little something called steroids! He has yet to admit to the allegations, but really, how do you go from that...

to this? ...

It's similar to a car wreck: you want to look away, but it's just so horrible that you just have to look.

Don't get me wrong, Carrot, you look good, bro! Your body looks terrifying fantastic with your bulging veins, massive pecs, biceps, and sex lines. Oh and don't forget those nipples of doom. It all looks very natural!

He has also been quoted as describing his body type as "athletic". Really, don't you think that's pushing it just a little bit?

Naw, bromosexual.

Carrot Top: Dead or Alive?

On Google if you search "Carrot Top dead" a shit ton of pages come up. Why the fuck are people saying he's dead?!? It's terribly amusing, but poor Carrot Top, people think it's funny to joke about him dying!

This is his "what the fuck people are saying I'm dead and I am in absolute total shock" face.

Personal Life

Scott Thompson has said that he would like to have kids someday. All I can say is, sucks for those kids. They are either going to be really weird and evil or they are going to loathe the man (?) that created them.

Here is Carrot's son who is playing with his father's new hilarious prop. He is having a great time, you just can't tell because he lacks a soul.

A few years ago, our fire-headed friend trashed a Reno hotel by throwing the furniture around all over the place and out the window. When the cops came he stood in his robe and kept his composure while he was signing a check to pay for everything. After he handed the owner the check he quickly pulled out a gun and started shooting at the police and ran out the door and stole the cop car. It turned out that the check he gave them was made of rubber. Unfortunately the police were incompetent fucks and were unable to capture him.

He also enjoys flashing people in his spare time.