The Greatest TV Theme Songs Ever

While we all have different opinions on music, everyone loves TV theme songs... even though some of us like the intense screaming of Dani Filth, while some us like the deep preachings of Reverend Willy G.

And yet some of us are just dumb

Just The Facts

  1. Most of my choices are powered by pure nostalgia
  2. Fresh Prince of Bel-Air is not on this list
  3. Cry me a river, bitch

(11) Ducktales

I never watched this show, but I am a fan of the theme song. I admire how the song is really a warning of the dangers of the world around you masked by an upbeat jazz melody.

What's that? You don't think it was awesome? Well listen to it sung by Gandalf the Grey.

(10) Dragon Ball Z, Thundercats, Biker Mice From Mars

Whoa.... did we just jump from Ducktales to a trio of some of the manliest cartoons of our generation? That's a big leap of badass we just took. If you're wondering why these shows, who probably deserve their own spot on this list, are forced to share a slot near the top..... it's because they're all the same damn song. The whole song is just one sentence repeated over and over while a heavy metal guitar riff plays in the background.

Come to think of it.....

(9) Batman

Question: "Why did you give Batman a higher slot than the last group? It's just the same word repeated over and over?"

Answer: "What are you dense? Are you retarded or something? Who the hell do you think he is? He's the goddamn Batman!"

(8) The A-Team

In 1972, a crack commando unit was sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn't commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire... The A-Team.

Michael Bay just shat himself

(7) Knight Rider

How could I forget the ultimate in 1982 technology? KNIGHT RIDER....though more importantly.... DAVID HASSELHOFF

It has a digital speedometer, state-of-the-art GPS system, and the best computers money could buy..... in 1982. Which by today's standards..... is a pretty shitty car. Which means that the guys from The Fast and the Furious could have taken over the world by now.

(6) Ren and Stimpy

YOU THOUGHT I WAS GONNA FORGET ABOUT REN AND STIMPY

Oh how wrong you were. How could I forget one of the greatest theme songs ever; and of course, the greatest jazz song ever recorded? This is the show that introduced us to the beloved cartoon characters we had no idea were inappropriate.

(5) Walker, Texas Ranger

This is one of those math problems that doesn't make sense.

Bad music + bad lyrics + bad singer = Epic Fuckin Song

Yes... that is Chuck Norris singing himself into television history. The entire plot of the show is just Chuck Norris being awesome. Which of course, led this to be the most unintentionally hilarious program in the history of television. Seriously.... Youtube is full of his shenanigans.

(4) Batman Beyond

What do you get when you combine the late 90's industrial fad with the Goddamn Batman?

A gritty reboot where the X-Files fucked the WB right in the Bat-Cave

(3) Rawhide

My GOD..... I want this played every time I enter a room. In fact..... I'm gonna sing this song every time I make love to a woman. Right when I'm about to climax......"CUT 'EM OUT, RIDE 'EM IN, RIDE 'EM IN, CUT 'EM OUT" while kicking furiously and without empathy for any civilian casualties.

(2) Megas XLR

The greatest cartoon about a giant robot driven by a guy who mysteriously looks like me ever. Megas XLR is the peak of television. Combining muscle cars, hot future chicks, giant robots, video games and the ultimate in low brow humor; Megas XLR is hands down my favorite show of all time. Topped off with the greatest soundtrack of all time. Ladies and Gentlemen.... Chicks Dig Giant Robots.

So.... you still don't think this show has epic music? What other show could bring this kind of badassery into creation?

Blood Shot

What kind of show could produce a more epic melody of hardcore metal and brutality?

(1) Power Rangers

Wait.... what?

That's right. Power Fuckin' Rangers. You know why? Because we all watched this show, and had no idea how badass the theme song was. We grew up and took this song for granted. Well it's about damn time we paid our dues. Power Rangers has the greatest theme song in the history of television.