Robin

For all the scumbags out there reading this on their no doubt stolen laptops this topic is about Batman's sidekick Robin and not about the felony of the same name.

This is Robin also known as

Batman and Robin EPIC FAIL!!!!

Just The Facts

  1. There has been five Robins. Two of which have died. Which shows Batman goes through sidekicks like premature ejaculators go through Kleenex.
  2. The character first debuted in 1940. Because people thought Batman was too dark.
  3. He has not appeared in the new Batman movies because the director feels the character doesn't suit his vision which is a nice way of saying he is too gay.
  4. Robin wears a bright green and red costume to contrast Batman's dark black and gray.
  5. Also it's bright colours draws criminals attention away from Batman. Bruce Wayne. Proud RSPCC member.
  6. His costume is inspired by his old Circus attire.

A brief history and evolution.

The first Robin was an orphan named Dick Grayson who's parents were killed by a extortionist during a circus performance. Bruce Wayne was at this circus but didn't do shit because he was too busy wacking off. Bruce takes the young Dick under his wing (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA) and basically takes advantage of a poor boy for his own sinister and very creepy ends. A lot like the recent Catholic priest scandal in Ireland.

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww kissing!!!!

Robins outfit consisted of a black domino mask, bright red jumpsuit, green sleeves and briefs. Yes he wore a pair of briefs to fight crime and Batman was okay with this. The homoeroticism is pretty high right now. They partnered up for years and got into many wacky adventures. Dick Grayson was the first and most important Robin.

Eventually Robin realised he didn't like dressing up in green biefs for a dirty old man and decided it was better to switch to a skintight catsuit.

"Well Bruce . ! do you respect me now???"

The next Robin was a street punk called Jason Todd. It's funny he was poor but had two first names, robbin bastard!!!! Batman met him when the little shit tried to rob the tyres off the batmobile. Batman thinking that anyone who tries to rob tyres is trustworthy makes him the new robin. His tenure as Batmans love slave was short-lived due to the joker beating his brains out with a crowbar and blowing him up.

"Oh no my sidekick is dead . . . . . ah well off to the local orphanage to get another one!"

The next Robin was not an Orphan but a kid named Tim Drake from a regular family that dscovered Batmans identity. Blah blah blah, Batman takes him under his . . . . No we're not doing that dance again. Drake was a young boy who followed Batman and Robin's adventures and always aspired to be the worlds greatest detective, Also he liked to wear his pants over his trousers.

Ahhh comfort!

His great detective skills more than made up for his mediocre combat skills, because of this batman supplied him with a new suit with armored leggings (and possibly a horse bit and leather thong) to give Drake much needed protection. After the disappearance of Batman and him recruiting his illegitimite son Damian he changed his identity to the Red Robin.

Much more Kickass!!!

Damian Wayne is the final and most annoying Robin.

He is the illegitimite son of Bruce Wayne and Talia al Ghul. Batman was unaware of his existence until Talia dumps him on his door step (Great parenting skills taking Bats track record with sidekicks into account.) . Trained by the league of assassins he is bloodthirsty and pubescent, a dangerous combination. Damian and Bruce had an uneasy relationship due to Batmans vow never to take a life. After saving Damian from being a host to his grandfather Ra al Ghul's soul Damian greatly respected Bruce. Left under the care of Alfred Pennyworth and Dick Grayson after Batmans death, Crayson takes him under his wing (It's amazing how much that line comes to mind when talking about this guy.) as Robin while Crayson took up the mantle of Batman.