Inconsiderate Cell Phone Douche

They look like regular people. Then you hear a noise. It sounds like music. Wait a minute... IT IS!! Coming out of their pocket? Suddenly, the person you're talking to, or you're driving near becomes the hated ... INCONSIDERATE CELL PHONE DOUCHE!!

Movie? What movie?

Just The Facts

  1. Inconsiderate Cell Phone Douches never realize they're Inconsiderate Cell Phone Douches.
  2. Inconsiderate Cell Phone Douches believe they can do anything. Like drive. Or not piss everyone right the fuck off.
  3. They're wrong.

How The Inconsiderate Cell Phone Douche Affects You

You're in the parking lot at the barber shop. You put 30 minutes of time on the meter, yeah, that should be enough. You walk in and sit down in the chair. You make the mandatory small talk with the barber, who seems like a pretty nice guy. He gets the razor out, holds it up and then... what's that? It sounds like music. Coming from his pocket...? Oh no, here it comes...

INCONSIDERATE CELL PHONE DOUCHE ACTIVATE!!

All of a sudden, the barber, who you're paying to cut your hair, seems to forget all about you. He stops what he's doing, razor held in midair. He goes on and on about his home life, his retarded problems, and you're still sitting there, wondering if he's forgotten he's getting paid to do something. He has. And there's no reminding him until he remembers for himself. Finally, he finishes up, and gets paid. You leave, and...

GODFUCKINGDAMMITSONOFABITCHFUCKERASSHOLESHIT

GODDAMNITFUCKINGSONOFABITCHCOCK!!!!!

While Driving

Some people say they can drive perfectly fine while talking on their cell phones. Never believe this. It is a lie, and the most surefire way you can tell if you're dealing with an Inconsiderate Cell Phone Douche. This is what the road looks like to a normal driver;

This is what it looks like to the Inconsiderate Cell Phone Douche:

At best, they will cut you off and never notice, or drive 12 mph down the Interstate. At worst:

My bad, I was texting and forgot there was other cars.

What Can You Do About This Problem?

Send 'em straight to voicemail.