Public School

One nation under God... and standardized testing. Public Education is the state funded, run and mandated form of schooling based on the principals of every child earning (being given) an equal starting point for their (soon to be) depressing lives

Maybe some children should be left behind.

Just The Facts

  1. The No Child Left Behind Act was signed into law by President George Bush the Second on January 8, 2002.
  2. As the name implies, the act insures that the dumbest, most unmotivated future garbage man will not be surpassed by his educationally superior peers during the first 18 years of their academic careers.
  3. So essentially, when the millions of slackers and societal burdens drastically reduce a schools standardized test scores, the curriculum is adjusted (dumbed-down) so that these future welfare recipients might actually graduate.
  4. Instead of academia favoring those who were exceptionally intelligent, it is curved so that the bottom fifteen percent can achieve the horribly easy goal of graduation.
  5. This new system leaves the college bound students underprepared for higher education, and gives the future life-time Walmart clerk a much larger education than they will ever need
  6. So instead of the good old days when stupid people with rich and influential parents could buy an education (The very same man who passed this law) now those stupid people wont have to learn as much or work as hard to have the same starting point as people who are actually intelligent.
  7. God Bless America

Public School: A Shit fucking sandwich of mediocrity and lowered expectations.

Socrates taught Plato..... Socrates Taught Plato!!!

Who taught you? Did you learn anything? Did the equations that you copied off of your friends exam in your Statistics class ever come up again in your life? Did any of your High School teachers ever reach out to you and play a pivotal in not only your personal self, but your views and philosophies on the human brain and it's limitless potential? Or did they just give you homework?

Hell, aside from learning your limits on alcohol consumption, aside from learning how much weed is in a dub sack, and aside from learning how not to sexually satisfy a girl, did you learn anything useful in high school?

I learned how to procrastinate, I learned how to cheat on an exam, i learned how to bullshit my way to a diploma and be accepted to a University. Thats about it.

Todays public education has changed it seems. Education is no longer the lighting of the fire, hell its not even the filling of the bucket anymore. Public education is daycare with numbers. It is a place to go while your parents and guardians are at work, its a place to make friends, make fun of people, get in fights, make out, complain, and occasionally it is a place to learn.

Standardized testing seems to be the new craze in the public education world. And it makes sense, if someone can't answer 45/50 math questions in 40 minutes, then Fuck them they suck. If you cannot read a short story and answer 25 questions afterwards within thirty minutes, then you are going to be a failure for the rest of your life. You will never make it if your dumbass cannot tell the exam making company why Flo thought Johnny stole her bike (It's because Flo failed her Standardized exams as well and exhibited poor problem solving abilty, so she inadvertantley assumed Johnny was a thief).

But don't worry my fellow idiots and morons of the world. Cause every time your dumbass fails a standardized test, the schools average drops. In turn the School recieves less money due to poor performance, and following that the exams are made easier so your fat ass can actually pass the next test.

America: If we are too stupid for the standards, then fuck you lower the standards.

Reverse Evolution? Is that even possible?

Well, Rome fell and then humanity was set back a few hundred years during the Dark Ages, but the Renaissance ( a return to the teachings and ideals of Antiquity) kinda pulled humanity out of the sewers.

Newton came along and fucked shit up with his brain. Da Vinci and Michaelangelo showed the world that human made artificial paintings and creations are far more beautiful than any of that boring "natural shit." Shakespeare created and perfected todays English Language. Darwin took a shit on creationist thinking. Edison and Tesla went toe-to-toe with inventions and theories similar to a nerdy Lakers-Celtics series. And then Einsten came along and showed everyone just who has the biggest academic dick and put everybody to shame.

Thats how human knowledge works right? Someone learns/discovers/proposes something, records it, and then the future generation builds on it. So as we continue through our evolution as a species, our knowledge and understanding grows, adapts, mutates and improves; essentially our knowledge evolves over time with the current generation inhereting the knowledge of our predeccesors and passing it on. Makes sense right?

Well what the fuck is going to happen when our kids inherit a very retarded public education system. If the dumb ones keep fucking over the smart ones and doing poorly on standardized tests, the cirriculum will be adjusted and dumbed down. Now the smart kids wont get to learn everything that the previous graduates had learned while the stupid kids are simply not getting any better and still don't care about school, and manage fail an even easier, dumbed down standardized test.

Seems to me that this will start to snowball sometime here in the future. In the last fifty years, we have seen our species become lazier than ever before (if i put you in the middle of the woods with nothing but a knife, how long could you live?); we have become far, far fatter than ever before; we have become more apathetic than ever before (50% voter turnout, really, after how much we bitched about GWB, only half of us voted). So what's next? If you're fat, lazy and apathetic, are you gonna want to try hard in school? are you going to push yourself to excel and recieve good grades?

Hell if i was in high school i wouldn't, i mean look at how easy this exam is, shit i bet if we don't study, the next exam will be even easier....

So, in conclusion, can any of you readers out there explain to me Einstein's General Theory of Relativity? I mean it was published in 1915, almost 100 years ago. You would think that by now we would all be more than intelligent enough to explain it's principles and apply it.... right?

Put that on the next standardized exam and then we'll really see how fucking stupid we are.