For years, individuals have revolutionized the drumming world. Others have...Not so much.

The sad truth about drummers.

Just The Facts

  1. Drummers are slightly higher than the bass player, but lower than the sound guy and trained monkey on the band recognition scale.
  2. Except in some cases, when the drummer is nothing short of a lovechild between Jesus and Cthulhu on the awesome-scale. (See Neil Peart)
  3. A drummer has two main jobs; bang the drums during the show, and the women afterwards.
  4. Occasionally though, the drummer is called upon to trash the hotel rooms and be raving mad. (See Keith Moon)

The Job Description

The drummer in the band is usually the off his rocker crazy one. The main cause of this is probably because a sane drummer generally gets less attention than that ginger step child that you got out of your second marriage and can't, for the life of you, remember the name of...

God, what was it? Francis? ... Seymour? Just, stop looking at me like that, kid..

God, what was it? Francis? ... Seymour? Just stop looking at me like that, kid!

So, like an angst ridden emo teen, they act out for attention. Only, instead of misspelled myspace status updates and tweets ridden with frowny faces and broken hearts, drummers feed off of the negative energies of the media. Since Buddy Rich was on the scene, drummers have yelled at their band mates, done serious amounts of drugs, gotten involved in all sorts of scandals, and just generally been the douchebag of the band.

No, not this kind of douchebag.

No, not this kind of douchebag.