The greatest city on Earth - apart from Paris, Hong Kong, New York and Rome.

Just The Facts

  1. London is old.
  2. It is a fairly shitty place to live and work.
  3. Half a million people disappear every day in London.

A tourists eye view of London

Seriously - just fuck off and leave us alone. You may be on holiday, but we aren't.

Yeah, we have history falling out of our ass, and quaint little customs like queueing and taking Victorian era public transport. But once you have seen the 700 recommended historic and cultural sites, there really isn't much to do apart from spend money.

The only reason tourists find London so pleasant is that we are far too polite to poke you in the eye when you disrupt our daily schedule of treating all customers with disdain.