american express

I once ordered from American Express but im not from America, was this a mistake?

American Express CEO

Just The Facts

  1. 1 in 2 people in America have used American express in some shape or form.
  2. Morn than likly the above statement is false
  3. If you know who Noel Edmounds is then you are probably not going to find this article interesting

Americano Expresso?

Some people ask me would i like some coffe as i read my mail in the morning, to this i will always reply with a gleeful smile "Amerinco Expresso!!" and thus my receptionist brings me to mugs of coffee but i dare not say to her that i am alergic to coffee.

Once i finially get over my hives from drinking the morning coffee i tend to inject my insullen and check over my e-mails. Here at American Express i came up with the ingenius idea of getting people to pay us for e-mailing files over the internet. As of yet the plan has not followed through as simply people will not pay for a service like ours because they can do it for free.

Once the clock strikes 12:00 at the offces the real hustle bustle starts as people clamber out of there seats and start to freshing there tastless lips for the real challenge of the day. Each box and envelope from American Express is freshly kissed by an employee weither it be the CEO or Cecil the greasy yet mildly attractive janitor.

Once lips have been chaffed then the real dream works starts as i start to go for the runs about the streets delivering eeach of the boxes to the destination.

Then i go home to my wife with the kids we climb into a fed ex box and rip it too shit.

How To Post Shit

This part of the article we will briefly go through the complexieties of how to post what ever shit you gotta post.

1st thing, Get your shit together, if your gonna be posting it you gotta scramble it together what ever it maybe (bread crumbs, pork scractchings, shit) what ever it is... gather it up for posting.

2nd thing, Cram that shit together into a letter or box

3rd thing, Right the name where your gonna post the shit

4th thing, Post that shit

Recieving Post

This is a follow up to the previous "How To Post Shit"

Here you will learn how to recieve post.

1st thing, Sign up to some shit or have a friend to "How To Post Shit" to your adress

2nd thing, Wait

3rd thing, Open

4th thing, Enjoy whatever you got posted (bread crumbs, pork scratchings, shit, leaflet)