Charlie Brooker

Charlie Brooker is an English comedy writer, critic and television host.

Just The Facts

  1. English comedy writer, critic and television host.
  2. Born March 3rd 1971
  3. Is a genius and has won awards and shit.

PC Zone

Early in his career in the mid 1990s, Brooker wrote for PC Zone Magazine, where he replied in a comically aggressive manner to moron's letters, in a section entitled Sick Notes. This began after one pathetic dong wrote in offering to physically fight Brooker. Also, aside from his duties as a staff writer, Brooker also contributed irreverent and humorous cartoons and comic strips. One of these, (Helmut Werstler's Cruelty Zoo), depicted kids lovingly eviscerating various animals in what was intended as a satire of the wanton animal massacring of Tomb Raider.
This showed the editor Brooker was definitely the fuckin' shit, as an ass-ton of the mags were pulled off the shelves after some crazy bitch shat her tits off over it. For an article examining the quality of video-games developer's support-lines (yes, being a PC gamer back then was even more of a scythe in the balls than it is now), Brooker awesomely recorded himself calling the helplines; each time attempting to test the recipient's resolve with increasingly bizarre and highly comical behaviour.

Website and The Guardian

In 1999, Brooker set up the website TV Go Home, a parody of the television listings from the Radio Times. A recurring programme, Cunt, covered the exploits of an archetypal hipster-douchebag named Nathan Barley, who would feature later in Brooker's work. On the strength of the website, Brooker was asked to pen a weekly column for The Guardian, named Screen Burn, in which he used his acerbic wit and scathing descriptions to tear apart television's penchant for intolerable bullshit. Brooker then began writing a weekly column for the Guardian's supplement magazine, G2, in which he turned his attentions to topics of his own choosing. In October 2004, Brooker wrote a column on the US election and straight up fisted controversy by writing:
'John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald, John Hinckley Jr. - where are you now that we need you?'
Needless to say, the big-dick pill and fake diploma spam in his inbox was suddenly outnumbered by people offering to shoot lead through his flesh and bones.

Screen/news/Games Wipe

The Screen Burn column led to Brooker hosting his own show, Charlie Brooker's Screenwipe, on BBC 3. Screenwipe featured Brooker reviewing various television shows, notably The Wire, which helped to influence the incredible series' popularity in the UK. The show also took a critical knife to the medium of television itself, with Brooker exposing the innards of what occurs behind the screen, such as editing and scriptwriting techniques.

Newswipe followed a couple of years later, where the savage wit appeared to move out of his basement and into the BBC stronghold, the Big British Castle. Strangely, Newswipe wasn't about news at all, but instead focused on the actual physics of various phrases such as shit flying off a shovel. Later came the highly anticipated (amongst power-nerds) Gameswipe, where Brooker filmed himself playing the terrorist level on Modern Warfare 2 over and over again for an hour whilst cackling maniacally and jacking off into a kebab.

Dead Set

The miserable genius meanwhile wrote the zombie horror thriller Dead Set, for E4. Although the end is now thankfully in sight, Big Brother in the UK is akin to shit being served as soup in a refectory: the idiots lap it up with poo-eating grins. Therefore, it was a damn pleasure to see the Big Brother house being overrun with zombies and the fame-hungry contestants having the smirks chewed off their faces. Big Brother presenter Davina McCall even signed up to get her throat torn out. It was awesome.


He once pointed out he looks like a 'paedophile walrus'. In spite of this, though, it is still possible to successfully masturbate to his shows, provided you have the following item to hand: a meat tenderiser, a seasonal woolly jumper and a flamingo's leg.