Never has 88 MPH been so sexy.
Its 1955 and the world is innocent. Polio has just been cured and Disney land opens its doors to unsuspecting twits in Anaheim California. You sit with your predominantly white friends, and the token black guy you and your freinds felt the need to include because it was edgy back then, outside of your local California malt shop (you got a black guy with you and they wont let you in. Thems the breaks kid!.) non-chalantly discussing this new thing called rock and roll and this new guy who is on television shaking his hips who hypnotizes women like some pelvis themed magician, when all of a sudden the air crackles with electricity and the smell of ozone fills the air. You and your friends look frantically to the horizon for the mushroom could you have all been expecting. Somewhere Eisenhower is sayin "I told you so, you damn Commies!". Seemingly out of nowhere, a car appears in a flash of blinding blue light and accompanying it is a sound, only comparable to God giving Buddah a pink belly.
As you and your primative intelect start recovering from the shock of having the space time continuum forcefully ripped apart and violently reassembled right before your Jim Crow loving eyes you notice that your immediate area is covered in a thin layer of frost. "Holy Christmas" you think to yourself in your best Archie impersenation "what just happened?".
That is the after math of Einsteins theory of " I tottaly Fucking told you it was possible to travel through time you dumbshits! Eat my awesome german ass!". A thin coating of ice , What did you think the ether of time and space would be a balmy 80 degrees?
You begin to asses the damage to you and your psyche, being in the presence of something so tottaly balls out awesome has the tendancy to rattle men a tad and drive small children to drinking. You get up and rest your eyes upon the vehicle that caused such a disturbance and notice that it is unlike anything you have ever seen. On the outside this magnificent beast of a car there are what appear to be thrusters of some sort . Pressumably put there by the Devil himself to make sure that anything this car will ever do will only add to its grandure and general throat ripping glory. You begin to walk around the car and notice that in its wake it has not only left ice but a twin trail of flaming skid marks!(pause for you to stop giggling like a damn school girl at the word "skidmarks") " This machine is from the deepest circle of hell!" you say to no one in general , everyone has done the logical thing and runaway already. You hear a hiss and proceede to wet your pants. Its ok I wet my pants too the first time I saw the DeLorean .
From inside the car a figure emrges, you notice he is no older than you. You had always assumed that satan would be older...ah well, details. The figure turns to you and asks a very strange question for a man Who should be the Prince of Darkness. "What year is it?" . You stare at what you think is Lucifer for all of 3 minutes, mouth agape. Way to go dumbass now satan thinks youre retarded. The figure turns away and begins to get back into the car. As Satan (aka Marty McFly) climbs back into his sweet ass whip you catch glimpses of some bright lights and knobboly knobs and One Flux Capacitor. While your mind decided that its had enough for the day and proceedes to shut down all non essential organs and functions including bowel control and conciousness, Your last fleeting thought is that you will probably never be the same again. The Flux Capacitor has that effect on people.
The Car closes its weird ass door and drives off to some kick ass adventures, leaving you in its cosmic dust.