The Bloody Beetroots

The Bloody Beetroots are music group out of Italy. They are centred around the Bob Rifo's god-like ability. Their sound is a blend of electro, punk rock and classical that comes out sounding awesome.&&

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Just The Facts

  1. The Bloody Beetroots are actual, proper Italian.
  2. They wear Venom Masks on-stage. This just makes them more awesome.
  3. When it comes down to it, Bob Rifo does everything
  4. When they play live, they play as The Bloody Beetroots Death Crew 77 and the do it with real instruments

Background

The Bloody Beetroots are off the Dim Mak record label out of Italy.

This means they are proper Italian and five times more attractive than anything America or Australia have to offer purely because of their accent. When compared to what I'm led to believe is America's Italian community...

Pictured: Not sexy

Fake Tan with what I'm led to believe are people underneath it... somewhere

...The Bloody Beetroots are basically sex gods, even though no-one ever really sees more than the lower half of their faces behind their trademarked Venom masks. They also actually have talent to back up their raw appeal.

Pictured: Pure Undiluted Awesome

Raw Talent, Pure Awesome and Sheer Epic. And that's just the guy on the right.

They made their first big splash on the international music scene with their EP "Cornelius" in 2008. They proceeded to make a series of tours around the world, finding an extremely strong fan base in Australia. Given Australia's predisposition towards a lifestyle slightly more insane than most, the Bloody Beetroots electronic thrashing sat right at home, just like one of their many deadly spiders.

Bob Rifo

The Bloody Beetroots ARE Bob Rifo.

That sentence makes no grammatical sense, but it doesn't need to. It's Bob Rifo.

The Man, The Legend, The God

Pictured: Bob Rifo. Also Pictured: A portion of Bob Rifo's sheer talent.

Bob Rifo is the brains behind The Bloody Beetroots. When The Bloody Beetroots are in the recording studio, it actually means that Bob Rifo is in the recording studio. The Bloody Beetroots are putting out a new EP means Bob Rifo is putting out a new EP. Basically, the Bloody Beetroots can't do crap without Bob Rifo, making Bob Rifo the single most important person on the planet when it comes to the future of techno.

Here's where the pure force of epic that is Bob Rifo get important: he's genuinely musically talented. He can actually play every single tiny piece of music that gets put anywhere near one of his tracks. He's a multi-instrumentalist, playing Keyboards, Synth and Guitar and singing vocals when the Death Crew 77 travels live. Basically, if you can name it, Bob Rifo can play it.

Seriously, WTF is it?

You cannot name this, therefore, Bob Rifo cannot play it.

Death Crew 77

Here's where the most important thing in Techno since, well, ever comes into play.

The Bloody Beetroots Death Crew 77 use real instruments. Think about every single argument you've ever heard against techno. I guarantee you it all comes down to two things.

The first argument is that techno all sounds the same and that it's repetitive. Anyone making this argument has clearly not heard enough techno to make an educated comment. But, because this is the internet, I guess I've got to explain to the idiots.

The Bloody Beetroots Death Crew 77 live is a strange experience. Yeah, they open with electro like "Fucked From Above 1985", but they transition, via tracks like "Warp 1977" into the hardcore punk sounds of Bob Rifo's side project Rifoki. Then they slide back again. The crowd's dancing follows, sliding from rave to mosh and back again.

Oh, and Bob Rifo will get the other two guys to shut up for a while so he can play classical piano. Why? Because he's Bob fucking Rifo. He doesn't need a reason.

The second argument is "well, they're not using real instruments..."

Get fucked argument 1

You were saying?...

"...or actually singing..."

Continue to fuck yourself.

Sorry what was that?

"...yeah, well they don't have a real drummer."

You're really just digging yourself a hole here.

"Okay, whatever, they still aren't doing it live."

Wrong again.

At this point, they should be curled up in a ball with their world collapsing around them. You have smited someone's confidence. Thank the Bloody Beetroots sometime.