Crash

Crash is a 2004 anti-racism film directed by Paul Haggis, co-creator of Walker, Texas Ranger. Sadly, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicking the fuck out of racism is not featured.

"I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something."-The Don Cheadle character from Crash. "Wow. That was the gayest movie quote I've ever heard."-The Good People At Cracked.

Just The Facts

  1. Crash is proof that neither the Best Picture Oscar nor the imdb Top 250 mean shit.
  2. Ludacris shows off his acting chops by playing a brutal, criminal black person. You know, everything that Ludacris despises.
  3. Crash is the only movie to condemn racism. Ever.

Racism

We learned two important lessons from Crash.

1. We need to stop judging people by race and start judging them by merit. No, wait. We didn't learn that from Crash, we learned that from our Kindergarten teacher's lesson about MLK.

"No, don't listen to me. Just watch Crash. You'll get the basic idea."

2. If you trust a Middle Easterner with a gun, he'll use it to shoot a Hispanic kid.

A middle Easterner shooting a Hispanic kid.