Nerf works in selling toys to children that replicate weapons. These toys are actually cheap peaces of crap. However they control the childhood of many American children.

Just The Facts

  1. Nerf believes, "Quantity not Quality!"
  2. It is possibly the United States Army training future super soldiers.
  3. Of course these super soldiers won't be ready for pain...
  4. If you can't make it in the Army Weapons division you end up at Nerf.

Nerf: Where cool ideas go to die.

Nerf is a company that affects the childhoods of almost all American children. Nerf not only produces their cheap dart guns, they have become known for, but they also have a commanding foothold in water guns with their Super Soakers.

Essentially this is what the executives of Nerf thought when they were formed. "What do kids want that we can make cheap? Violence!"

$1 to make with slave labor

So Nerf began producing things for kids to attack each other with that they couldn't hurt each other with. They began to produce even more and more outlandish things to add to the Nerf arsenal. Eventually they had produced a vast enough array of weapons to outfit an army armory. They even make swords now!

Even a video game!

However, Nerf also produces other things made of their crappy foam, like sports balls. However they are not worth mentioning because if you use a Nerf sports ball there is something wrong with you. Just go to Dicks!

It's a sporting goods store dipshit!

However imagine if are armed forces had weapons anything like that of Nerf's. They'd be unstoppable. I mean a sniper rifle that can be broken down into a pistol! Or a silenced 5 barrel rifle with attachments. Load a few bullets into some of these guns and they could win a war quick.

Shooting bullets this could possibly retain badassery.

Next thing you know some U.S. army washout will build a real-life Iron Man suit. Since the army won't take it it will end up at everyone's favorite toy weapon manufacturer Nerf. Yep every nerd's dream toy turned into a childish toy.

Nerf Commercials

Nerf also advertises its products in a strange and outlandish manner. (Although it sure works.) They hire proffesional stunt coordinators to perform cool flips and tricks while carrying around a Nerf weapon. Because if you buy Nerf weapons you'll be a 80's action movie star too!

Look at me! I'm so bad-ass!

Nerf is able to hire such good actors because they don't spend money on production thats taken care of by slave labor in Indonesia!

Nerf: The slang

To many gamers Nerf is said through clenched teeth. It has become known as a term used when a game weakens some aspect. A good recent example of this were the Model 1887's on Modern Warfare 2. If you don't play Call of Duty, imagine a gun that can shoot so far and so powerful it is nicknamed the fairy wand. It's like knocking on a door with a tank.

Pizza's Here!

The word comes from the fact that Nerf weapons do absolutely nothing what a weapon is supposed to do. Cause harm. So when something is Nerfed it goes from being invincible to childish.

Before Nerfing

After Nerfing

Therefore, when someone messing with something you love, cry because you have been Nerfed!