Public Bathrooms

Public Bathrooms filthy hellholes; literally the asshole of any building they inhabit. They forever hold their own slogans "Don't tread on me... Just give me your pee!"

This was the spot of a hobo, but he went to relocate to Hanna Montanna's House... it got that bad!

Sometimes they are a little too public... and a bike!

A lot of people feel that they become Sherlock Holmes and need to figure out the mystery.

Just The Facts

  1. There is no such thing as a clean public bathroom, unless it is a private bathroom.
  2. Wal-Mart bathrooms are home to microbes more terrifying that those from Africa
  3. But if you have to go, they are like Mecca, Heaven and an IHOP all rolled into one.
  4. Public bathrooms are there for the P-U-B-L-I-C , but a lot of times it seems they leave out the L.
  5. Megan Fox once thought that she was in a public restroom... turns out it was her acting career.

Go, be your idiot self.

The moment you take a look around, and see how the public is and that they are nice, decent people as a majority... they go and they take a piss. Apparently as soon as people step through a public restroom door, your brain gets swarmed and mangled and there is a magical force which destroys your aiming skills. Sadly men and women are both taken over by this strange phenomenom. This causes the destruction of your aiming waves, and they get obliterated. Men... they project their swarm of lemonade made by, and brought to you by, their own sponsor... the penis... and swamp it all around in the water. They don't stop there. They feel as if the toilet seat should not be left out of this wonderful warm feeling.

Women... they are the worst. This is all you need to do. Walk in, pull your panties down, and go for it. For some strange reason women get the notion that they want to take a leap, a risk, an adventure. They wanna try to aim as well, or not aim just stand to pee. Their sense of modesty leaves them for the moment, and they wish to cease the day by not remaining seated while they perform. Standing up and going is ok... for MEN. Don't be an idiot, you don't need to show your self you can do it with better aim than any man who ever lived... just pee the right way.

The public also feels some sort of therapy and ease from being in public in a box. They enjoy the dark and the crappy lighting and feel they need to relief stress, anger, and occasionally their racism. So to do this, and since they are in that special place (for some reason happen to have a sharpie on them the ONE day in their life), they release and label people as fags, let the people know that something in the world sux, and/or make sure they know who to call for a good time. If I was an anger therapist, I would save money go to a public stall and say "I'm here if you wanna talk", make sure I talk through that special hole, and make sure they know I am there to talk... not have fun.

Public Restrooms have been the obvious point that people are douche bags at some point in time. This is obvious. They go in, and destroy the restrooms of the world. Quit being your idiot self, and just go in and pee. Simple.

Take the Green out of your BROWN!

The public restrooms and their horrid dirt doesn't stop with the toilet stalls. The sinks... our place of cleansing for our dirty hands, are just as bad. You turn on the faucet, obviously, with your hand and immediately you know there has been a ewok village of germs invade your body. People don't know how to use the restroom or wash their hands. Sometimes you can turn on the water and not even see clearly, your hands get covered with the muck of the world.

Sinks don't clean themselves. We are part of the modern world, not that of the Jetsons. These huge corporations need to take some of that money that they are sticking GOD knows where, and put it in the hands of cleaning crews with proper equipment. "OH we have spray sanitizer!" OH really that is great... That is essentially the same as putting some soap on the top of dirt at the playground and expecting the kids to "Stay clean".

Learn how to wash your hands, corporations learn how to spend money, and clean the restrooms so the hobo doesn't have to go to Hannah's house!