Nightlight

Nightlight is a parody of the much loved and hated Twilight Saga. It also took a nice stab at any fangirl who dared to believe or pretend that some handsome, sparkly, moody vampire existed for her alone.

...and I'm hoping none of you did this seriously.

Just The Facts

  1. This book, while pointless and stupid in some parts, easily OWNS Twilight. By far.
  2. Belle Goose is absolutely insane.
  3. The obvious and subtle references to the Twilight saga are amusing.
  4. If you got to the end of the quiz above and took it seriously, you should seek medical attention. Quickly.

Nightlight in a Nut Shell

For those who haven't touched this little treasure, this is a nice little summary for you. Be warned, it contains massive spoilers.

  • We meet Belle Goose - she's the protagonist and she's rather delusional crazy imaginative. It adds to the comedy of the novel somehow.
  • She meets Edwart Mullen - a computer nerd who she thinks is a vampire.
  • Belle then spends the majority of the novel stating that Edwart is a vampire for various reasons and even tries to convince him that he is a vampire, which doesn't work so well, seeing as he knows he's not - but that's not saying much, seeing as everyone but Belle seems to know this already.
  • After it finally gets through her thick head that he's not a vampire, she winds up attending a vampire prom with real vampires, which is cool for her. But not so much when they want to kill her, so she runs for it.
  • Instead of trying to leave town and escape the hungry and murderous vampires, she heads over to Edwart's house, comes to terms with the fact that he's an ordinary, nerdy little mortal and they end up playing video games together in the most romantic way possible - with slight kissing and lots of foot cramps.

I assume the sequel will be something like this.

"I eventually got tired of the video games, despite how dreamy my disappointingly non-vampire boyfriend, Edwart Mullen, is and so, finally retired home. On the way, I was attacked by those vampires who wanted to kill me and now I'm dying. The End."

Certainly a better sequel than New Moon was.

Why Belle Thought Edwart Was A Vampire

  • Because his eyes supposedly changed from green to another colour that she can't remember.
  • Because he saved her from a snowball while he was engaged in a snowball fight.
  • Because he hardly ever touches his food.
  • Because he can somehow regain his balance quickly by putting his foot down. Humans can't do this, of course.
  • Because he was controlling and over-protective of her {something she made him do anyway}.
  • Because he's gorgeous {to her at least}.