Aztec Religion

The Aztecs were a group of people native to Mexico. They are most famous for their calendars, cities, sacrificial practices, and complete disregard for the value of gold.

Just The Facts

  1. There was a god for everything.
  2. There were two gods that dealt with drunkenness. One of them exclusively.
  3. So were these guys hammered, like, 24/7?

Really, Just Gods For Anything

In under five minutes of researching Aztec gods and goddesses I had already discovered a flaw. A lot of the deities were useless. There are so many overlapping responsibilities for these guys that it just seems like the Aztecs could have combined them.

This is partly because they would adopt the gods of other cultures. It's almost as if they weren't really sure what they believed in, so they added every god they could find in the off chance that one of them actually existed. You have to respect their foresight on some level though, no one wants a mega god.

Mega-God rules with an iron first.'

Mega-God rules with an iron fist.


Human sacrifice was a very real thing in Aztec culture. Over a four day celebration of a new temple there were thousands of sacrifices made. In fact, "between 10,000 and 80,400 persons" according to one expert. With a range like that, he might as well have said "between zero and everyone alive."

The sacrifice itself was very planned and according to ritual. The (and I use this term loosely) victim, would take on the persona of the god he was being sacrificed in the name of. It was sort of like the lottery, you prayed that you didn't get stuck as a shitty god. No one wanted to take on the persona of the god of corn when they could be the god of sex for a while.

Who needs virgins anyway?

The victim was considered to be very lucky. If you take away the whole death thing they actually had a pretty sweet deal. Ceremonies before the actual sacrifice could last up to a whole year. To get a feel for how the victim might have felt imagine a death row inmate eating his last meal. Multiply that by 365.