Cosmopolitan

Cosmo is the number one source of information for women who think that it's difficult to please men. Little do they know that they are merely pawns in a vast conspiracy designed to increase the average skankyness of women within a given population.

What they say.

What we say. See? Easy.

Just The Facts

  1. Fear not, Cosmo will bestow unto you the skills with which to drive "him" wild.
  2. I mean, ridiculously, head-splodingly wild.
  3. A Cosmopolitan is also an alcoholic beverage.
  4. Said beverage can also be used to turn only slighty skanky women into women Cosmo would be proud of.
  5. Disclaimer: Cosmo cannot be held responsible for any chafing, pulled hamstrings, or regretful retrospectivity.

The Complete Idiot's Guide

Don't get me wrong, I'm all for variety, but at some point, you're just digging up the horse so you can start beating it all over again. Enter, Cosmo.

Apparently, Cosmo started its life back in 1886 as a family-oriented magazine, and has since devolved (or evolved?) into the infinitely more awesome training manual for would be man-pleasers everywhere. It is currently printed in 34 languages and in more than 100 countries.

1894: The Origin of Thought, a novel. An intellectually stimulating journey into the human mind. 2009: hot moves that will start a bonfire in his shorts. An equally stimulating horizontal quadrille (look it up). Where did we go so wrong (or so right)?

Bascially, a no-frills issue of Cosmo.