High School Relationships

Slightly less dumb than middle school relationships, high school relationships are what all high schoolers strive to achieve. The girls usually are hoping for "true, forever love", and the guys are usually hoping for "sex".

Now repeat procedure with best friend of ex boyfriend.

Just The Facts

  1. They occur in high school (as does a lot of stupidity), and are the source of the phrase "high school sweethearts".
  2. They usually last around a month. Tops.
  3. Twilight has, as with all aspects of society, negatively impacted high school relationships, and, just as with Twilight, they're usually taken far too seriously.
  4. They almost always end with lots of hatred.

Types of High School Relationships

Three main categories of high school relationships exist: the Freshies relationships, the Whorin' relationships, and the Serious relationships. The lines blur frequently.

The Freshies Relationships

Not limited to freshmen, freshies relationships are the exact same as middle school dating and long distance relationships: they're usually completely pointless, interchangeable, and over quickly, and even if it isn't you aren't getting much more than some holding hands and maybe a little making out.

The Whorin' Relationships

The kind of relationships you dreamed about while proving masturbating won't give you hairy palms, whorin' relationships frequently consist of getting drunk at a party and sleeping with some random person. Other variants include friends with benifits and just sleeping around. These do not stop after high school for people participating in them. You, though, will never get one of these until you discover roofies.

The Serious Relationships

These relationships are the rarest. They are just like a real relationship, involving crap like love and... what else does a real relationship involve? I sure as hell don't know.

I carry his balls in my purse.


Pros and Cons

Now that we've established the steps and kinds of the average high school relationship, let's go over the pros and cons.


1) You could actually meet someone who is right for you.

2) You could possibly get sex.

3) You will be the COOLEST NERD EVER for not only managing to talk to a girl, but convincing her to date you!


1) You probably won't meet anyone who is right for you.

2) They will probably think that you two are right for each other anyway.

3) They may send you a sappy chain mail or pictures.

4) The pictures will only get worse if you break up.

5) If you do manage to get sex, it will probably not be as good as you imagined until you both get more experience. I, sadly, do not know this from experience.

6) If you're reading this, you're probably way too old to even think about a high school girl anyway, so you might get a lot of sex, though it'll be from big hairy dudes named Bubba after that one time with that fifteen year old who swore she was eighteen.

7) Teen pregnancy.

8) It will probably end horribly with not only the girl hating you, but all her friends hating you as well.

9) Anything at all generated to high school girls, like Twilight, High School Musical, and Taylor Swift songs.

The Verdict: Worth trying?