Bollywood Movies

Bollywood movies are just like the ones made by Hollywood, only infinitely dumber and with a lesser budget.

It's more fun than Superman Returns

Just The Facts

  1. No, we didn't spell 'Hollywood' wrong.
  2. Bollywood movies are made in India, mostly in Hindi.
  3. But their horror reaches every corner of the world because Indians are great at reproduction and immigration.
  4. They invariably contain loud cheesy songs in every movie, irrespective of the genre.
  5. This industry has two times larger audience and makes fifty times lesser profit than Hollywood.

So What The Hell Are These Movies Like?

Almost all bollywood movies are musicals. Even the ones with superheroes and aliens.

Roses are red, Aliens are blue

So like most musicals, the story is always retarded. Most of the times its a stupid rip-off of some successful Hollywood movie, filled with elaborate song and dance numbers and melodrama that could make a soap opera look like a documentary about autistic frogs, even if the source material is 'Memento' or 'Primal Fear'. To put that in perspective, that's the equivalent of making Batman Forever as a rip-off of The Dark Knight. With Songs.

Romance is another aspect intrinsic to their plots. There will always be a pair of boobs for the male protagonist to dance around but the sight of those boobs being naked are extremely rare as you have a three minute dance sequence in paddy fields every time the lovers are supposed to have sex.

Is There Any Reason For Me To Watch These Shitfests?

We rest our case

Fight scenes anal raping physics with that giant dildo from Clockwork Orange more than compensate for retarded songs and lack of nudity. Every frame from that fight scene is the dictionary definition of awesomeness. And it's an icing on the beef jerky when the ass-kicking guy has a mustache.

Mustaches are compulsory for everyone here at Cracked

'stache - The secret to butt-raping Newton's Laws