Love And Hate

Love and hate eh? Well they reckon its a fine line, by they I mean the great psychologists of before my time; I reckon its true who ever said it and can prove it. Because lifes a juxtaposition and you need the polar opposites...

Sometimes you don't need words....

Just The Facts

  1. Ok admit it now we've all looked at our partner whom we love and cherish and spotted them picking their nose... that moment is disgust...
  2. Disgust is shortly followed by rage when a booger ball is flicked into the living room..... and to hate when your partner sweetly turns to you grins and says, "What honey?"...
  3. The love hate boundary line is thin when you and your partner have created offspring.... oh yes it is... mums stop denying it.... occasionally you really hate the toad who just peed on the toilet seat..

What is this boundary I speak of that turns partner into parted

Ok first of all I'm gonna bore you, with two words only. Limbic System. Go wiki it if you want to know more. Well we are talking about emotions here and we all feel them differently; yet still understand what we all mean when we talk about love and hate. As we have denoted that the words are now verbs, I refuse to make them look so important by giving them capital letters.

This is the boundary you meet when you look at your significant other, child, mum or dad and think, 'why the hell am I even in the vicinity of this person'. The problem is that ten minutes before you'd cuddled up together chatting about not a lot at all. If your lucky.

There is a love hate divide people, it is fine. Oh so fine.

What is love? (Not the Haddaway single, the emotion)

Well you tell me? Because I have some real issues here. Firstly theres that little point I made earlier about everyone feeling emotion differently. We haven't come up with a love'o'meter yet. Though when the science community has finished the project they are going to make a bomb. Men and women world wide will come home to trial by love'o'meter... Sorry my mind wandered...

So we rely on another source to tell us what love is. Now way back when in the time of the first ever divorce they didn't have televisions, not a great library either so it was what society said it was where you lived. So if society said you love your wife and kids beat them into submission, well then you did. That was love then and I understand why divorce caught on. Then we had poets proclaiming the joy of love, its intensity, its passion, its beating heart and everyone turned to their partner and did a double take because they just weren't feeling it. They remember something akin to it in those first short weeks but can't quite put their finger on it now. So do the poets lie? Is that not love? Ok firstly the great poets were high on whatever mind boosting drug akin to ecstasy that was around at the time. Most of the British ones flitted like a butterfly between call girl and lady. The thing they describe is lust. Now we have the joy of moving pictures. Ok so what have the movie's taught us about love? Well if your Sleepless in seattle you have a one in a million or more chance of finding the man. In Serendipity your gonna waste years of your life pining for the guy who gave you a glove, you shall find him too. Movies have taught us that there is that one amazing love that lasts forever without a glitch and you always find the love that you want. Even if your a hooker and you want Richard Gere.

So love is a cliche really. We believe in it, but its nothing more than a bunch of chemical firings in the back of your brain. Dilating your pupils to create an almost photo shopped halo effect; making your heart pump faster leaving you short of breath, this is actually the primal instinct of your body to prepare for exercize.

So humanity has a real issue, it doesn't real get what love is.... but still we feel it. We also act on it, hurt from it, decide on it and choose it. Love is a powerful thing and without it we would be extinct.

Hate. Its a naughty word.

Hate well it is a dirty word. Who hasn't heard the sting of I hate you? Ok I admit there are probably some people out there who haven't, but they are all cheerleaders. Who hasn't sat and muttered under their breath I hate you? I have, I regretted it shortly afterwards because I didn't get a chance to say goodbye.

Hate is as strong an emotion as love is. Yet again you can ask anyone on earth what hate is and get a lot of different answers. I like my kids answer to what is hate and thats why this section is called Its a Naughty Word. See kids get the idea that its horrible to hate and that its such a strong emotion we should often just drop it and cross the boundary line and back into love. But erm we have a problem there as a society again. Because once we feel hate its hard to let it go. Real hard. Almost as hard as letting love go.

Hate is really a word I don't understand, yes I have the dictionary definition in front of me and like love, it is described as a strong emotion. We get that bit. But real hate? How is it possible to truly HATE someone, no matter who they are or what they've done. Is it truly possible to 100% hate someone and everything about them. Personally I feel dislike a far more fulfilling option, as hate takes up so much energy and you really have to know your opponent well to make the hate worth it, and whats the point of getting to know someone you hate that much.

So stop and think about things for a second, do you really hate anyone? Truly? Cos I'm not sure there is anyone out there worth hating, but then again I cannot confirm the existence of love other than it is what society says it is; so confirming the existence of hate is somewhat akin to confirming the existence of hell.

Love and hate together.

Well here is where we can prove that there is a thin divide. Firstly we all think we've been in love. Plus most of the population of the world has felt hate, even if it was for a fleeting moment.

If you've ever been in a relationship (as your reading an article by us at cracked, I'm assuming you have), then you know how quickly that love, lust and passion can lead to hatred when things go south. One day your so in love with your partner they can do nothing wrong, you find their whining appealing, the way they burp after a meal kinda cute, the fact that they think a fork is a stabbing implement is a standing joke and you tell yourself you can get used to the fact they wear their socks to bed. Then the line is passed and you hate all those things you found cute and told yourself you could deal with and now, you know this person better and have deep insight into their 'quirks'. Its become disturbing, but you still love the person just hate what they do.

The next love hate divide that is wholly proven is parenting. The minute you lay eyes on that little squealing bundle your heart feels like it will burst, your overcome with a 'love' so strong that you realise it can never be beaten. This feeling is again the primal instinct to care for offspring and we have it to keep the population from dying out. Now after the initial huge hit of 'love' has started to wear off (at around 3 days when the 'baby blues' begin) and you are up to your eyes in nappies, dummies and an endless supply of washing while you carry a small human around, one that hasn't stopped crying in four days; you begin to feel the 'hate'. Its not that you hate your child, you really do love them. But right now you hate your child. Sorry mummy's admit it is true. We have all had those moments. We also all know that as teenagers, when the communal language becomes grunt and moan, we shall hate them again. Just in small chunks. The juxtaposition is we still love them while we are hating them.

So why is it such a fine line between the two?

This is the boring scientific bit so if your aren't interested just cruise to the end. The Limbic system is the central lobe of the brain, it is made of the hippocampus, hippothalmus, amygdala and pituitary gland. It controls emotions, surprisingly with the help of the hormones provided by the pituitary. (Anyone who has felt the wrath of PMT can testify to this), Its around two inches in size.

The science community have noted that in that two inches when looked at under an MRI, emotions such as love and hate fire from the exact same area. In fact I look at it as if it is the flip side of the same coin and you can't have one without the other.