Marines

When the shit hits the fan on an international scale, there is one group of trained combatants the United States calls on. The Marines. Throughout U.S. History the Marine Corps has repeatedly proven why they should be feared by their enemies.

Pictured: The Truth

You suck at life

Just The Facts

  1. The United States Marine Corps was established on November 10th 1775 by an act of the Continental Congress.
  2. A Marine is expertly trained in hand to hand combat, survival and can shoot the wings off a fly from long range while having sex with your girlfriend.
  3. The Marine Corps Martial Arts Program, known to Marines as MCMAP, combines elements of boxing, wresting, jiu jitsu, and joint manipulation, as well as knife and baton fighting.

Devil Dogs

Every WW2 German soldiers worst fucking nightmare.

In the United States, Marines are often referred to as "Devil Dogs." Some people actually enlist as Marines just for the nickname which officially scores a 12 out of 10 on the bad-fucking-ass-nickname scale. During the battle of Belleau Wood in France in 1918, United States Marines were ordered to capture a hill that was heavily occupied by German ground forces. Word came from the Marine commanders that mustard gas may be used by the Germans in defense of the hill. As a precaution the Marines wore gas masks which at the time had an elongated facial section and resembled a snout. The hill was so steep that as the Marines made their charge they occasionally had to get down and run on all fours to keep from falling. As the Germans looked down the hill they could see the red bloodshot eyes through the masks of the now close-range Marines. The relentless U.S. forces continued their frenzied ascent, killing everything in their path. As the Marines continued clawing their way further up the hill, the Germans began to make claims to their superiors that they were being attacked by "teufel hunden" or "Dogs from hell" in English.

Badassery Incarnate.

Carlos Hathcock

let's pretend for a moment that you were having a threesome with a couple of Playboy centerfolds, on the hood of Tony Stewart's car during a race. You, at that exact moment, would still not be as manly or badass as Marine Corps sniper Carlos Hathcock. If you and Carlos Hathcock were 80's cartoon stars, he would be He-Man and you would be Smurfette's soaking blue tampon. This is a man who killed 93 enemy combatants with a sniper rifle during the Vietnam conflict. Mr. Hathcock was such a complete hardass that he would actually wear a white feather in his cap as a kind of a calling card while in the field shooting people. As his legend and his kill count grew, his enemies actually offered a large bounty to the person who could kill or capture the "White feather Sniper."

If you still think that you may possibly be as badass as Carlosyou have to ask yourself this question. Do I have a sniper rifle named after me? If you answered no, (you did), then you lose. In the late 1980's Springfield Armory released the M25 "White Feather" sniper rifle system. A weapon designed for use by U.S. Navy SEaL's and Army Special Forces snipers. Two of the only organizations on Earth who may match the Marine Corps in Badassery.