Mapquest is one of the few different types of websites dedicated to finding you correct driving directions to places hither and yon. Does it always work? Lets find out.

The regular way of getting from Point A to Point B

The Mapquest way of getting from Point A to Point B

Places you might end up by using mapquest.

Just The Facts

  1. MapQuest, Inc posts on their website that they offer Internet, wireless and business mapping applications that help people find places and get there.
  2. People search on google for mapquest more than any other mapping brand.
  3. One out of five people in the web visit mapquest each month.

If you use mapquest, give yourself three extra hours to get there.

Mapquest was one of those websites built for cluedarts who were too lazy to look at a real map or call a friend to ask for directions. It is a concept that has ushered a new era of map dependance where people use a GPS to go from their front door to their mailboxes. If you thought driving while talking on a cell phone was a bad idea then imagine someone just as incompetent trying to steer and read a couple of pages with directions written in confusing ways.

One of the most useless features on mapquest and their kin is that when you print out directions, half of the directions are made up of a twenty-step process to get out of your neighborhood. If you need help getting out of your own fucking neighborhood, you shouldn't have a drivers license, unless you somehow live in this place:

Having David Bowie as a neighbor has its disadvantages

There are certain disadvantages to having David Bowie as a neighbor

The most fatal flaw in Mapquest's printed directions happens to be the fact that if you miss one turn you're screwed. Unless you can somehow luckily stumble upon your route again, you might as well find a huge box and mail yourself home, and hope the mail man doesn't use Mapquest. GPS is better at this since it can recalculate but when there are a bunch of morons trying to read a few sheets of paper and a tiny shitty map because they missed a u-turn, this tends to happen:

Damn you Mapquest, you said a Left on Wentworth Ave.

But the instructions explicitly said to take a Right onto Wentworth Drive!


But officer, I was only trying to read while driving.

But officer, I thought it was alright to read these massive directions while driving!