The White Death

Russian 1:"Hey did you hear Simo Häyhä's in town?" Russian 2:"HOLY FUCK! It's the White Death! RUUUUUUNNNNN!" *one gunshot* *two thuds*

The White Death, destroyer of Russians who are foolish enough to invade Finland.

The White Death sports his White Smile!

This is what he looked like after being shot in the fucking face...oh yes, he lived after that case of shot-in-the-face-itis.

Just The Facts

  1. On December 17, 1905, the child of death and a sniper rifle was born. They named him Simo Häyhä.
  2. Simo did not use the scope of his rifle, but instead utilized the rifle's regular iron sights to promote his "Silent Death from a Distance" campaign.
  3. If you had a Red Star on your hat and happened to be in Finland during the period 30 November 1939 - 13 March 1940, chances are you weren't around when John Steinbeck was awarded the Pulitzer Prize for his novel The Grapes of Wrath.


Simo Häyhä, The White Death, fucker-upper of invading forces crazy enough to invade Finland. How do we start?

Like this of course:

We salute thee, lieutenant headshot!

Born in Rautj�¤rvi, Finland, on December 17, 1905, Simo lived a peaceful life as a farmer and a hunter. At the age of 17 he joined the Finnish militia suojeluskunta and succeeded with his sniping skills in shooting sports in the Viipuri province.

During the Winter War, which lasted from 1939 to 1940, Russia decided that it was a good idea to invade Finland and Simo made them realize how great a fucking idea it was. He did this by sniping the hell out of the Russian troops who were in his country. The War was fought mainly in the snow engulfed forested areas and thus Simo made his name by donning his camo consisting of a white mask and white hooded jacket.

Simo Häyhä was Russia's most wanted during the winter war and thus was the target of several less than friendly excursions sanctioned by Mother Russia. Task forces and counter snipers, even the dreaded carpet bombing of the forest, could not stop Simo's reign of terror over the Russian troops.

Finally, an explosive round and an extremely lucky shot landed Simo an explosive bullet wound to the face. This put him out, but not for long; whereas any regular mortal would suffer from silly things like death after being diagnosed with shot-in-the-face-itis, Simo simply woke up�on the day the war ended (March 13th 1940). That's right, when Russia heard that he wasn't dead they decided to throw in the towel.