Honda, the Japanese automobile manufacturer that makes us think of rice riders, street racing and not paying ass-loads of money of gasoline. Chances are if you were a teenager at one point in your life you owned either a Pontiac Shitfire or Honda Civ

An H more diabolical than even Heroin

Just The Facts

  1. Honda Is the second largest automobile manufacutrer in Japan, Fourth largest in America and Sixth Largest in the world. They basically run this shit.
  2. Honda is also the worlds largest producer of motorcycles and internal combustion engines. They still run this shit.
  3. If Honda didn't make you think of rice enough, they also are the parent company of Acura. Oh not to mention Honda Designs advanced robots.


For those of you who don't know about Honda (presumably you are the few who emerged from a 100 year cryogenic stasis), Honda Motor Company originated in Japan founded in September 1948. Throughout the years they have diversified their corporate profile to the point where if it runs off of a motor, Honda has a finger or two in it. Eventually, that wasn't good enough for the motor giant, possibly during a board meeting of sake and drunk kareoke someone said "Fuck it, as long as it has wheels we should make it" And thus the Honda line of Mountain bikes was born. As long as Honda is confined to creating things on wheels the world is not in danger..

More fuel efficient than GM Models, Gauretneed!

What The...Robots?!

Do we all remember Terminator? What happens when you start creating a slightly less metalic and slightly more godless version of mankind? Well apparently the R&D departmant of Honda Motor Corps watched the trailer for terminator, were unimpressed by the robots lack of transformational abilities and the abscence of Mecha Godzilla, said "Fuck It" and decided to make a robot anyways. Enter ASIMO, an acronym for " Advanced Step in Innovative Mobility". We at Cracked find it far more likely that ASIMO's true meaning is "Autonomous Satanic Immitation of Mortal Organisms".


ASIMO is about the average height and weight for the vertically challenged (we at crack don't say politically incorrect things such as "midget'). ASIMO stands at little over 4 feet all and has a memory better than the (stoned) half of the highschool population. ASIMO sees through advanced cameras in his head, computing depth in three dimensions as well as color. This little robot is capable of running at a speed of 6 MP/H (better than the obese half of highschool population). He waves, he speaks, he shakes hands and understands non verbal commans such as pointing and body posture (Already more capable of getting laid than our socially akward readers!). The unsettling thing about this is that there have been 100 ASIMO units produced and each costs less than a million to make. We are assuming Honda is spending most of its money on its newest project...

Megatron's Heart