The Elderly

Old people are a plague upon our society. For some reason, the disease of being old is both uncurable and unable to be vaccinated against. It's as if people have to be old.

Yep.  That's about right.

Just The Facts

  1. They don't know how to use a computer
  2. They can't read small font
  3. Because of those last two reasons, I can say anything I want about them.
  4. Old People are the best people in your life.
  5. Old people are the worst people in your life.
  6. If you agree witht he last fact, good for you, because they'll be dead soon anyway.

Why They're great.

Let's start with one thing: Old people rock. I know, I know: WTF??? Let me explain. These people have worked all their lives, and saved money like crazy. (case in point, my aunt Tinnie) If you need money, ask the elderly and you shall recieve. Also, candy. They've always got candy. Now, the quality of said candy varies from person to person. Also, they can't hear anything, so you can say whatever you want at a conversational tone.

Why They Suck.

Let's begin with: Old people suck. For real. They can't hear for shit, so you have to yell everything at them. And don't even start about the 'fiber foods' and prune juice. Second, they're either annoyingly nice or infuriating bastards. They can't drive, they hate your music, whatever it is, and they usually smell. I rest my case.