Your New Haircut

"Oh hey man. What? Oh yeah! No, I totally noticed! Yeah I was gonna say. Very different. Bold, right. Yeah, no, she's gonna love it, I'm sure. Listen... I gotta go."

Supercuts huh? You don't say...

But I totally got the sidebur... STOP. Use the chart.

Just The Facts

  1. Nobody likes your new haircut, but if it's any consolation, they didn't like the old one either.
  2. That Italian barber only has one haircut. He's been doing it for 40 years. He's almost got it, too.
  3. "I cut my own hair" is among the most vagina desiccating phrases in the English language.

So... Listen...

I know you paid a whole 8 bucks... I'm sorry, you're right, $9.50 after tip... but sometimes you're gonna have to break a $20 to get quality.

Exhibit A: At least spring for a non-dude.

So we've covered finding a stylist that didn't photocopy their degree on newsprint. Now it's probably a good idea to pick a hairstyle that doesn't elicit blind rage and scorn from strangers on the street.

There's no definite way to pick a hairstyle. Mimicking Jennifer Aniston is a popular for the ladies. Avoiding anything featured in the movie Roadhouse is also a good idea. The point is, unless you could make a sex tape that would top about 500,000 hits, you should probably just stick to the basics.

Contrary to what you may believe, things that "never go out of style" were never "in style"

Anyway, if any of that is too complicated for you, you can always just puss out and shave it all off. Of course, it would take a real pa...

...oh... ...sorry.