Learn A New Language

Do you want to impress your Asian crush? Or maybe you think learning how to say “Help, my feet are stuck in liquid cement” in German may come in handy while visiting your in-laws in Berlin? Then wait no more – it's time to learn!.

your motivation to learn

what SHOULD BE your motivation to learn

Just The Facts

  1. Infants learn 20 new words a day. An adult starting language course learns 20 a week, but he still thinks he's really smart.
  2. Just because you watch anime all day doesn’t mean that you fluently speak Japanese.

Learning on a course

Let's say you've decided to learn in a language school, with some strangers. Your teacher is a native speaker, which means that she comes from the country of language you learn. But who knows what's her occupation? She may be a failed nuclear phisist that had two-week teaching course, after which she knows what to do if suddenly a monster from another dimension creates a portal to your classroom and starts wrecking havoc. That may be a reason why she looks so nervous, glancing at the clock all the time - everyone would want to get over with the lesson as soon as possible when knowing about the horror that can start at any moment. Your classmates, on the other hand, seem relaxed and happy. Scientists say that for every classroom there is one creepy stalker and one "joker" - guy who has a sense of humor that makes a hurricane victim crying over lost house funny. Other people should be normal - that is, if you haven't chosen japanese - if you did, then be prepared for a culture shock - you may find yourself in a class full of Son Goku impersonators and obese men wearing cat ears.

But enough of your classmates - it's time to learn! Learning first phrases and words is very exciting. "Shmetterling" is a "butterfly"in German? That's wonderful, you can come out of your hiding place behind a sofa, it wasn't the code for bomb alert! And oh, how funny, in Polish, "preservatives" are "condoms"? Oh, the hillarity. You are happy. You are fullfilled. You learn really fast and soon you may be able to write a novel in that language, knowing more than 200 words! Then, something tragic happens. Your teachers stops pointing at objects telling you their names. He takes out a book out of the bag and starts explaining tenses in a monotonous voice. You know that those things are important, but your eyelids close immidiately after she says the world "grammar". Even the joker falls asleep.

Yet somehow, your teacher manages to make you understand the difference between various grammar topics. After several weeks of hard work you are ready to take exam, or just to shake hands with your teacher and say goodbye, knowing that you'll be able to understand if people in a country you're going to are offending you and calling your mother a bride of a monkey or something. You are eager to check your skills, so you pack and go to the place where there are most natives of the language you've just mastered. There are two possible outcomes: either you learn they all speak English, or you learn that they don't understand a thing you say because of your thick accent. When you realize that 4-week course was not enough to be fluent in Chinese you cry for a moment, but try to find positive side to that - at least you have the telefone number of that creepy guy you were sitting behind all the time! Then you cry some more.