Brave New World

A Brave New World: the overview that will spare you the trip of having to read all that shit!

Just The Facts

  1. Brave New World can refer to any of the following things:
  2. A) a heavy metal album by the guys from that 666 song
  3. B) a shitty videogame
  4. C) a novel about... stuff

A) a heavy metal album by the guys from that 666 song

In the early '80s, a British band named Iron Maiden broke through in the US, forever changing the face of Heavy Metal, giving bible-thumpers new reasons to burn piles of records in the streets, and deflowering many virgins in the process.

These, and many other interesting events were later on celebrated - in style - by playing the song Brave New World in front of a huge crowd in their ROCK IN RIO performance in 2001. And when I say huge, I mean HUGE! Like, you and a friend could secretly stand on opposite ends of this gathering, fire a 15 inch howitzer directly at each other, and neither of you would notice a damn thing!

"Steady... aim... FIRE!"

Nonetheless, the concert remains mostly notable for McBrain's silliest dance in the history of on-stage heavy metal performances.

B) a shitty videogame

Apparently, there is a MMORPG out there entitled Brave New World, but by virtue of its title not containing either the word "Warcraft" or "Runescape", the people were obliged not to give a toss.

C) a novel about... stuff

Now, following the wake of my personal mentor and part-time sex-god Kanye West; I don't exactly read any books as much as I have my roommate read me the wikipedia entry while I lie down on my couch with my eyes closed, waiting for the LSD to kick in, a happening which in some cultures is more generally known as "fridays."
The results where peculiar to say the least...

Now, first off, I will need to get this off my chest: this novel features fucking children. I shit you not, fucking children! And no, that wasn't an emphasis about the quantity of kiddos being present in the storyline, I meant to say fucking children, as in: children FUCKING. I dunno, there was something about the government handing out drugs that justified the whole business, but my brain wasn't able to absorb anymore information at that point.

Still, nobody puts fucking children in a novel just for giggles. So let it be known up front that this here Aldous Huxley fellow was a clever little fucker, as if this wasn't obvious by his unnerving appearance (honestly, google that shit if you do not believe me). Now Aldous, being the said clever little fucker he was, wasn't about to waste paper and ink on every single gem of literary epiphany that was interstellary laserbeamed into his misformed skull. As such, he reinvented the art of stitching two well-known names together to create an unholy hybrid which will hopefully contain the best of both worlds. Half the fun of reading this book would be finding out the clever origin of names like "Darwin Bonaparte" and "Benito Hoover", giving you one more reason to congratulate yourself on your profound knowledge of 19th and 20th century history, as well as one more reason why you are not getting any leg tonight if this said knowledge ever becomes known in any social gathering.

The female sex remains as of yet unimpressed with Timmy's oral recount of European history.

Literary scholars now speculate that this gimmick of clusterfucking famous names was embedded in the novel to compensate for the horrendous lack of gay vampires in the story. Aldous' unwilligness to respond to this criticism will suffice to say that yes, these allogations are true and this is exactly what happened. Regardless of whatever you hell you read across, know that the one person who basically influenced all of it was none other than another fine pseudo-German intellectual who was all about drugs and minors fucking: Sigmund Freud, who personally experienced the positive side-effects of cocaine by using it to transform from an introverted douchebag into a testosteron-breathing stud.

"What the FUCK are YOU looking at?"

Honestly though, if you just read some of Freud's stuff while constantly reminding yourself of that Russian guy who made his dog salivate at the sound of a bell, you have BNW pretty much wrapped up in a nutshell.

Also, the main character dies at the end. SPOILERS!