Ender's Game

Ender's Game is a novel by Orson Scott Card. It's about a fucking genius kid who beats the shit out of alien ants. Nuff' said.

From the mediocre comic adaptation. Nonethless, look at that FUCKING ANT!

Just The Facts

  1. Ender's Game is NOT just for spoiled twelve-year-olds
  2. Ender is somehow incredibly smart, but so are his siblings
  3. He kind of has a thing for his sister... who kind of has a thing for his brother...


Enders Game is set in the relatively distant future. Humanity is still recovering from a massive series of attacks by an ant-like species dubbed Buggers. Naturally, we steal their technology and go to kick their fucking asses!

Of course, who's better to fight giant ants than children? Children are tested and, if they're extra lucky they get to go up to a space station where their childhood is taken away, they turn into murderers, and maybe if they're even more lucky they get to fight some bugs.

Ender, the specially requested third child in his family, is so special that he's brought up to the space station. Everyone wants him to succeed... or fail... or fail in order to succeed. Whatever, everyone fucking hates him, he murders a couple kids, he does really well, he makes a lot of friends (who are all also kinda murderers), and together they play a game where they train to fight the Buggers.

Or do they? The game is actually a control panel, and they control the ships that beat the fuck out of the Buggers. USA! USA! - eh, excuse me. Anyway, Ender realizes that the Buggers didn't know what humans were and they were scared and blah blah blah blah empathy. Then they do some set up for three sequels, four parallels, and a shitload of interbetwequels.


Ender Wiggin

Ender is like a fucking god. He's really smart, he can kill people, and he has the personality and charm of a dead mesquito. He's the key to it all; he's really special. Then he kills the Buggers and shows the world that they were really good (anonymously, of course) and goes down in history as the worse xenocider ever to live.

Valentine Wiggin

Ender's sister. She's a female Ender, minus the war hero xenocide parts. She's kinda an overintelligent bitch, but you'll root for her anyway.

Peter Wiggin

Peter is a fucking asshole and he wants to kill Ender and he's just bad!!!!!!!! That would be how Valentine would describe Peter. Really, he's quite smart and thoughtful. Though he does want to murder Ender.


Bean is like the shorter, quieter Ender. He helps save the world, and gets four spin off books.

Colonol Graff and Others

The Battle School Station has a bunch of asshole leaders. Graff is the main one, and he treats Ender like shit to hone his skills... or something. He's a fat old army man.

The Buggers

The Buggers killed millions of people and waged war on mankind... because they were scared of us before we did anything to them. And we should feel bad for killing them, because they would not have done the same to us.


Ender's Game spawned a host of sequels: Speaker For The Dead, Xenocide, Children of the Mind. It also had four parallels about Bean: Ender's Shadow, Shadow of the Hegemon, Shadow Puppets, Shadow of the Giant. Then there were some interbetwequels that take place between books. Look them up.

Another Ender book is slated for release, called Shadows in Flight. It holds all the answers. It had been slated for a late 2009 release for years. Then late 2009 flew by, and now it's "TBA." We can all agree that Mr. Card is deliberately torturing all the gay fans of his series by withholding this final book, and he wishes to drag the rest of us down as well. Mr. Card, please give us Shadow's in Flight.