RNC

The Republican National Committee hold the Republican National Convention where Americas (registered) conservatives decide which hopelessly 50s-nostalgic, out of touch senior citizen they want to run for president in the next election cycle.

RNC Logo...yeah, it's as exciting as you think

The RNC legacy

More baloons than the Macy's parade, twice as much hot air

Just The Facts

  1. The Republican National Convention, is a rally held every election cycle and still manages to produce the same results every time
  2. The government gives them $15 million for each convention,
  3. After seeing the convention on TV, it becomes obvious the money is spent on baloons, a podium, and Jagermeister.
  4. Complete with streamers and a bunch of strangers, it's very much like a birthday party at a nursing home.

You down with RNC?

The Republican National Convention, or RNC as it's colloquially known is a rallying point for American conservatives to gather in one place and rally for their own aged progress-hating monkey in a suit, It's essentially a multi-million dollar pep rally for old people who get to jump around, yell, and act like idiots for a couple of days every 4 years.

RNC in a nutshell

Now imagine this x1000

Or basically what the Tea Party does every day.

That's about right

Despite their best efforts (no laughing) , the RNC is a Rebel flag and a burning cross away from a Klan meeting. That's not to say there are no Black Republicans, they just don't feel comfortable being around thousands of white people whose entire ideology is that the 1950s were the greatest time ever. They're still conservative, but that many honkeys in one place with voting power is enough to scare pretty much everyone who isn't actually at the convention. Not going to lie, my hands are shaking a little bit while typing this.

Oh God!

The RNC and the Republican party as a whole has noticed that people view them as being about as cool as Hee Haw re-runs (which they also love, by the way) and have attempted to revamp their image and appeal to a younger, hipper, urban demographic. Unfortunately, when your platform is 60 years old and your members are older, appearing "hip" ends up being surprisingly difficult. Remember when rap music was the hottest thing on the planet?

Yes kiddies, Ice Cube used to be cool

Well the RNC finally jumped on that gravy train...in 2009. Chairman Michael Steele has finally brought the "street" back to "Working with Wallstreet to encourage investment and using conservative fiscal policy to turn the economy around"

Word

But that's not all, the RNC has gone further and opened their own Facebook AND Youtube accounts. That's right, you can watch the latest "Buzz worthy" RNC clip on their official Youtube page. Check out their wicked dope videos, like a poorly animated TV commercial that (sort of) parodies that one flight attendant who quit his job by going down the emergency slide and running home to have hot, unemployed sex. That's so topical, now I have to listen to their economic proposals. How could I not?

And don't forget their Facebook fan page, where you can roll with laughter over their hilarious parodies of real tv shows, including "Job or No Job" (get it? People are unemployed, how hilarious) "Dancing with the Law" (it's a show on ABC about dancing, only in this spoof it's about Robert Gibbs for some reason) and "I'm a politician, get me out of here" (that used to be a show, remember? Sure you do). One could only assume they were thinking of a Cheers parody starring Ted Kennedy, but decided it was in poor taste.