Stormtroopers
Stormtroopers were the undeniably awesome foot soldiers of the empire in the original star wars trilogy.
Just The Facts
- Stormtroopers are the younger, cooler brothers of Clone Troopers.
- They are good dancers.
- Their armor is a little overkill for Halloween parties.
A Brief (canonical) History
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, an Empire was kicking ass, taking names and blowing shit up. At the forefront of this empire were the soon to be iconic soldiers called "stormtroopers." Their duties included searching for droids, being shot by untrained "combatants," and succumbing to cheap Jedi mind tricks. When they weren't doing these things, they were busy intimidating the galaxy with sheer numbers, and dead triangular eyes. Emperor Palpetine's foot soldiers really only managed two admirable feats in the original trilogy: overtaking the Rebel base on Hoth, and shooting princess Leia in the arm (and most of that was shirt sleeve). Just about all respect fled from the casual fan's body when these soldiers of the Empire were outdone by the galactic equivalent of a Teddy Ruxpin army during the battle of Endor.
Design
Designed by Ralph McQuarrie, the Imperial Stormtrooper, much like many Hollywood henchmen, was to be devoid of traits and emotions that the audience could sympathize with, so as to make the choice between good vs. evil as easy as possible. Further non-canon elaboration of the suit would indicate that the stormtrooper would be extremely hard to kill due to blaster resistant armor that also protected against harsh conditions and even the vacuum of space for up to 20 minutes. Of course, this is easily debunked by the opening scene of A New Hope (and the entire trilogy for that matter), where single shots were enough to send any stormtrooper to his demise--an interesting premise that is investigated (mocked) by this TFN fan film.
"Only Imperial Stormtroopers are so precise."
...unless they're in direct combat with the protagonists of the film. Stormtroopers were fairly decent in battle and were known for being good marksmen as Obi Wan states in the title of this section. Of course, due to a plot hole stormtroopers were rather ineffective against the main characters. This is a recurring phenomenon amongst henchmen in many movies and has been dubbed The Stormtrooper Effect. No matter how notoriously dangerous an antagonistic group may be, the regime cannot seem to injure/kill anyone who may be vital to the plot.

Immune to death.
For instance, after Obi Wan allows himself to fall to Vader, a teary eyed Luke Skywalker was standing still in the middle of a hanger in the Death Star, yet dozens of these typically "precise" sharpshooters were unable to land a single shot on the soon to be Death Star destroyer. Creator George Lucas defends this by claiming "The only reason these people are the main characters is because they are the ones that are so skilled," pretty much bullshit when you consider that Luke was a farm boy with half a day's worth of Jedi home school under his belt when he went meandering around the Death Star, an Imperial base housing over 30,000 highly trained, highly skilled stormtroopers.
Pop Culture
Although the armor and design seemed rather useless in the original trilogy, it has proven to be useful here on Earth, mostly for Halloween, comic book conventions and just making regular everyday tasks absolutely hilarious.



Some have even misinterpreted the design as fashion...

Casual Imperial Footwear.

Mark Ecko was a Star Wars nerd.

Embarrass your dog.

Decorate your "little pony."
And lest we forget the sex appeal bestowed upon us by the Empire...

Galactic Erection.
Conclusion
Stormtroopers were the faceless minions of the Empire that bumbled their way onto the silver screen in 1977 and stayed with us for years to follow. Despite the scrutiny and jokes, they remain iconic for the simple fact that even after 33 years, they still rock ass.

Fucking right.






There is something oddly funny about people going about their day in stormtrooper costumes, not doing anything to attract attention to themselves other than wear stormtrooper costumes.
Replyi wanna try that whole grocery shooping thing. but who the hell has a storm trooper outfit? arent they expensive?
i am definately wearing a storm trooper costume to school later
ReplyI must have that stormtrooper hoodie.
Replylol that was funny, especially the video
Reply Hide All See All 3 Repliesthough i don't understand why people b***h so much about main characters not dying in any movie. How interesting would Star Wars be if Han got headshotted after he rescued Leia?
PS: That stormtrooper(ess?) was freakin' hot. that was the wierdest sentence i've ever typed...
Well id rather have a well written plot and exciting heroics based on skill and determination rather than "We won cause every single bad guy cant shoot a single stationary target"
Yup, there sure was no skill or heroics in Star Wars. *cough BATTLE OF ENDOR cough*
It certainly would have made the characters seem better at their jobs if the stormtroopers hadn't all been blind.
My son wont even look me in the eye anymore!
ReplyThis is basically the greatest article of all time.
ReplyNo mention of the scout troopers?? They have cooler helmets AND they ride speeder bikes!
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesYou are confusing Clones with Stormtroopers. The Stormtroopers only work aside Darth, much like Hitler's Stormtroopers.... Don't bring that weak s**t, Star Wars question in here no more 'til you know fo' sure! (I have no idea what possessed me to write that)
I beleive, ArthurDent42, that WatermelonRat is talking about the scout troopers that appear in "return of the Jedi", on Endor.
They're awful drivers though!
The dancing point at the top made me laugh. that was GREAT! haha
ReplyThe handbook image was a bit disappointing. Should have had perfect, or even British, grammar, and no language, to run with its satirical claim.
ReplyBritish grammar is perfect grammar
i want that stormtrooper jacket!!!
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Reply Hide All See All 6 RepliesIf you put "A GE" and "MIN GLE" together, then you will get the url.
It's a nice and free place for Younger- Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to- interact with each other. Maybe you wanna check out or- tell your friends
So much hatred. HATE.
Agreed, Scorpodael. What is it about this site that screams "looking for old person sex"?
If you put A GE and MIN GLE together in a different order, you get AGLE MINGE.
'Nuff said, I think
It's always cougars and tall people. Why don't they ever offer me a hot tranny or a piss-thirsty midget?
They just don't love you, Colin. I'm sorry.
Wow, the spam-bots are getting really lazy. This is just copy & pasted from a different one on the same page.
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The force is strong with the main characters. Which apparently makes other people fumble when they have a good shot at you. Even Darth Vader.
ReplyStar Wars is not funny any more. It is played out. Try something else.
Reply Hide All See All 3 Repliesthat is a fiction
YOUR MOM IS PLAYED OUT!!! Oh . . . I don't know why I said that . . . I'm so sorry.
So its not funny anymore yet you come to a comedy website and click on star wars articles.
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Apparently .gd is the code for Grenada
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ReplyIf you put "A GE" and "MIN GLE" together, then you will get the url.
It's a nice and free place for Younger- Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to- interact with each other. Maybe you wanna check out or- tell your friends
Personally, I think Clone Troopers are cooler than Stormtroopers. They get colours on their armour, and they can actually hit things. Maybe that's just me though.
Reply Hide All See All 3 RepliesI agree. Clone troopers looked cooler and could actualy fight.
Clone Troopers could fight because they were good guys, at least for awhile...
They killed the s**t out of those jedis
I've always wondered what was up with all the scopes on weapons in Star Wars. In all 6 movies almost every gun, from battle rifles to side arms has some kind of scope on it, but in 6 movies we see a total of 1 person ever use a scope. So what was the point? Why put them there if no one ever uses them?
ReplyThat's probably the reason why Boba Fett kicks so much ass across the galaxy.
Who would win a shoutout between a dozen Stormtroopers and a dozen Red-shirted ensigns from Star Trek?
ReplyAs long as the ensigns weren't played by Harrison Ford or Mark Hammill, Stormtroopers.
Stormtroopers are Space KKK, neo-Nazis and that is high larious!
Reply